A Decent Beginning

All packed 

Just before heading through security

One last glimpse

This post is way overdue.  I guess I've been in a funk about it.  I don't really know how to put it into words.  My son left for two years on Wednesday the 17th of July.  I went from being SO ready for him to just leave already to being touched by his kindness the last couple days at home with me to bawling in public at the Baltimore International airport.  He kissed my cheek, hugged me and walked into that security check line like a champ.  He never even looked back at us.  I felt odd.  I kept changing positions so that I could get one last peek.  Then at long last he could be seen no more and I wept uncontrollably.

I know this is where he should be right now.  I know it's what we've talked about and saved for his entire life long!  I know it's the best place for him to learn and grow.  He needs this time to learn so much about himself and to bless the lives of others.  I know all of this.  But I also feel empty and sad.  I have been doing things like taking a nap in his bed, wearing his hoodie, smelling his clothing, and buying the gum he used to chew.  A favorite song of his keeps playing on the radio and I weep each time I hear it.  I'm much better now, but for a few days there I could hardly get out of bed.  I wish I had been warned about this by someone.  It was almost too much to bear waiting for that first letter home. It took 9 days before hearing from him.  When his letter did come I was so happy to hear that he was in good spirits that I tried not to be bothered by his not mentioning the packages we'd sent.  He's always been brief when it comes to communicating.  I hope to see growth there.

As therapy I have been eating chocolate, shopping for Halloween costumes for my girls, writing to my son and sending him too many things, dream-house hunting online for houses we'll never be able to afford.  My favorite is waterfront property on Bambrige Island in the Seattle area. Sigh.

I've also been praying for comfort.  Sunday I received that comfort in the form of an outpouring of the spirit confirming that my son is learning and growing and in the right place.

In the meantime we got our family photos from July back.  I was so pleased to see them.  I'll share some here.  It was the last chance for us to be photographed as a family for 4.5 years.  Thank goodness we had some lovely shots!  We were battling rain, sun going down, and sprinklers going off.

As we took Big Boy to the airport for our last farewell I asked him about the layout for his missionary blog that I would be starting for him.  We discussed colors and photo options for the heading.  "What shall we call it?" I asked him next. "How about Decent Beginnings" was his reply.  We had a good laugh about that.  We had just been discussing the Jared Hess sleeper movie we'd seen.  The same director who made Napoleon Dynamite made a kookie movie called Gentlemen Broncos.  In the movie a woman has a line of modest lingerie.  Funny right?  She decides to call her new collection 'Decent Beginnings' because it has a wholesome ring to it and she thinks it will appeal to a younger market.  I guess Big Boy really took that to heart.  So link to it if you like from my side bar and have a read.  I guarantee he won't be as long winded as I am.

July 2013

totally Big Boy

Be Good and Sing

Our family has been so blessed this week.  Our oldest son was called to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  He will be serving for 2 years in Sao Paulo Brazil!  We were beyond shocked when we heard this news.  We asked him to send a photo of his call before we were convinced. He wanted to open it privately in Rexburg, so he texted the news to us.  It made me a bit sad that he wanted to do this without us online or something, but I had to get over that.  I'm just grateful that he is worthy and willing to go.  He seems happy with his call.  I am thrilled.  I was totally expecting Ohio. It is not usual for kids with a history of ADD to get calls outside the United States.  They want them to have access to medication if needed.  Nathan only uses his medication on rare occasions.  He's pretty high functioning without it.  The church leaders may send you to Canada, but not Brazil.  It must really be 'meant to be' for our son to go to Sao Paulo.  He did get an extra interview and follow up call relating to his medication issue.  I'm sure they were just being careful. 

So now I'm obsessed with  finding out more about Brazil and it's culture.  We own the movie Rio.  You know the one with the blue parrot?  So I think that should pretty much cover things.  Oh and we have the soundtrack as well, so... we're good!  Its funny how many things start popping up that are Brazil-related once you start looking for them.  I looked online this morning to see when we could possibly combine a family photo shoot with my oldest before he leaves and found the Blue Lily photographers will be in Utah this summer.  I hope to combine a trip home at the same time that they are there. The Blue Lilys travel all over the globe and are just now posting photos from guess where? Brazil of course!  It was fun to see that.  Then yesterday I recalled that in the 5th grade, my friend Amy P and I did a report together on Brazil for the cultural fair.  I recall the little green and yellow Brazilian flags on toothpicks that we passed out. The half shelled out watermelon bowl her mom made for us to serve fruit from.  It was pretty classy with a zig zag cut edge.  I should have known that would have some future impact.  I don't ever recall studying or making hand-outs for Ohio or passing out buck-eye treats.  I told my friend that maybe I thought I heard the spirit whisper "Ohio" and it was just too noisy in my house to hear correctly.  "Sao Paulo" kinda sounds like "Ohio" right?  It's totally possible. 

(a pre-mission photo shoot below)

The night we got the word I was just so happy.  I could not stop thinking about what this would mean for our family.  The trials leading up to this week have been plentiful.  I think that is usually the way things go.  Satan works harder on us before a big blessing comes.  I was awake into the wee hours of the morning thinking about everything under the Brazilian sun.  Would my red head get enough sunscreen? Could/should he bring his violin? Would he have to drive in that crazy city? Would my baby get swept up in a Carnival parade and be forced to wear big puffy sleeves?  I'm pretty sure he wouldn't like that.  I got up an surfed the web a bit and that just gave my mind more things to wonder about.  I snickered like Stefon when I read that there would be a chance that my oldest would be doing his laundry by hand on a cement slab in the sink or possibly the river.  I could barely get that kid to put it from the washer to the dryer on his own.  So there is room for growth.  

And that is really the thing isn't it?  The growth?  He's going to  do some growing on his mission, our family will experience growth, hopefully the Brazilian people will experience the message of hope and grow from knowing my son.  He will be a wonderful asset.  He's charming and funny.  He has a testimony of the Gospel and he wants to choose the right.  From the time he was small and would push his little red trike around the block, he'd say on the hilly side "press forward saints!" I knew then he would serve this way someday.  However, he did used to complain about church from time to time and say "Church is the same thing each week the message is just 'be good' and then we sing.  Be good and sing be good and sing week in and week out"  So now as he gets ready to depart I will be sure and give him two bits of advise... Be Good. And Sing.  Because that is the thing right?  Just choose the right and then praise God and be happy.  Sing!  Be thankful.  Pay it forward.  Share what you know.  That's the singing part.  I pray that as he goes forward his song will be heard.

The Yellow Vests

I need to write about my weekend but I'm not sure where to start.  I guess it started when I saw this video posted on facebook by a friend in my ward.  Perhaps you've seen it.

When an opportunity arose to go with a large group of volunteers from our stake to be a part of this my heart was willing.  When I heard more details about the raw sewage in basements my flesh was weak, but I struggled on the fence wishing I were braver.  I encouraged my teenagers to get involved and at the same time I encouraged myself.  My husband was on board and I told myself that I'd stay home with the children while he represented us with my teenagers.  Then it became impossible for him to go due to a work conflict.  He is on call this month and would have to go in each morning over the Thanksgiving break.  We would need at least one of our teens to stay home with the younger girls while he went in, but the door was still open for me.  Then I saw an email asking for food helpers to volunteer.  All those volunteers would need to eat and they needed kitchen help.  I'm a kitchen helper! My youngest son has a willing heart and is a good worker.  I signed us both up.  I'm so glad I did.  Part of me did wish that I'd been a work crew person working directly with home owners.  Dealing directly with the storm victims was a humbling and wonderful part.  Another part of me was glad I hadn't signed up for that kind of duty when we showed up and smelled the sulphuric backed up sewage smell in the air.  I can't imagine what those poor people must feel like.  It could have been us unflooding our basement instead of them.  Mother nature makes that decision.

So we provided meals for the volunteers and for anyone else passing by who seemed to need food.  We talked to police officers and locals walking by, we walked down to the ocean to see the distruction, we looked into faces and tried to think of encouraging things to say.  One group of boys kept hanging around wanting food and they were told by the missionaries to put on yellow vests with us and collect trash in the streets for 30 minutes to earn a lunch.  We would have just given it to them, but perhaps the local missionaries knew them.  They were the cutest kids and were so proud of the 5 bags of trash they collected that they posed for photos.  Construction workers came by and took food, some polite, some not.  Overall it was a great experience that I would jump to do again.  My husband may go up next weekend if he can work out his work schedule.  I feel different upon my return.  More patient, more thankful, more loving.  However temporary this shot in the arm is I will take it.  I can't think of a better was to spend our Thanksgiving weekend than by showing thanks through giving.  The day after traditions will have to wait until next week.

These were the cute local trash collectors

My Little Boy and half a house

These dingy mini flags were in all the yards

A collection of shovels

Beach front property is no longer a priority for me

My boy and me

He was such a solid worker.  Never complained once.

Fun To Do To Do To Do

This morning there has been a malfunction with my Iphone. (the second self induced one this week!)  While updating the calendar I remembered something I wanted to be reminded of and went over to my list to add it.  I accidentally clicked on something new and must have done something wrong.  Suddenly all of the reminders I have ever put in there came back into the 'to do' section.  I figured that when I had checked that box on the left that they were forever gone.  Not so, and now I had retrieved them.  Now I had created a monster 'to do' list and a new 'to do'... delete all the old finished tasks from the past 367 days.  As I read over them memories of  cutting out snowflakes for a birthday party or getting ready for an anniversary vacation came flooding back.  One of my children is now away at school and I saw all the violin concerts and orthodontist appointments I had reminded myself to do on his behalf.  A tug on my heart strings.

Then another thought of how here was actual proof of all the things a mother does on a day to day basis for her loved ones.  I should read it to the next sassy teen who tells me I don't do anything around here.  Oh yeah?  I don't do anything?  Take a look at the long list on my iphone!  I bet you can't even sit still long enough to read them all! That doesn't even cover half of all the stuff I do for you kids!  Oh the stench of ingratitude.

Then another thought.  This is the stuff life is made up of.  Without it we would just be sitting there staring at walls all day.  It would be miserable right?  And some day when I have less kids to shuttle around, and feed, and throw parties for, I will miss this to do list.  Sometimes the things we think are bogging us down are what define us.  So we should really be filling it with good stuff.  Instead of resenting all the sign up sheets that go around we should be first in line to offer our time and talents.  I was glad to see that some of the things on my list were 'making dinner for Tiffany', 'volunteering at the school', 'muffins for the homeless shelter',  or 'bring strawberries to the RS meeting'.  Plenty were mundane like 'buy stamps' or 'pay speeding ticket'  but those things are part of what makes this family go right?  And without me who would buy the milk?  My wish is that I will be able to find reverence for those mundane activities as well, and that someday when my kids are in charge of their own to do lists that they will turn around and respectfully thank me for checking off that list when they were that person that needed that thing done for them.

PS lets blame that 'to do' list for my lack of blogging for the past month shall we?

The Eagle has Landed

No my title has nothing to do with the president touching ground in Air Force One.  In fact I intend to avoid everything political on this blog because I am so friggin' sick of politics at this point I could puke.    Instead my title refers to my eagle scout son who recently had his night in the sun (except being at night you could technically say his night in the moonlight) at his eagle court of honor and then we swiftly took him off to college where he landed safely in his apartment and then pretty much told us to scoot.

Big Boy's court of honor should really have happened like a month before but we like to procrastinate around here I guess.  Trying to get all that done just before leaving was a note I will make to myself not to repeat with boy's 2 and 3.  He didn't really want the court of honor, but I felt it was something good to do for the younger boys in the troop to look up to.  We had a nifty cub scout display and I made an effort to invite those families with cub scout aged boys.  We got many positive remarks, especially over the white chocolate dipped Oreos with the trefoil scout emblems on them (60 was not enough)... Anyways I will spare you any more of the details but would like to say that I wish we could have had more involvement from the Eagle himself when planning this.  Not wanting it done he simply told me that I could do whatever and not to involve him.  When he started hearing whisperings about a slide show he sat me down for a talk.  He wanted to know what songs I'd chosen, what kind of photos were in there, etc.  Suddenly he was super interested.  I should have just sat him down and showed it to him but I feared that he would over-ride too much if it and make me have to start from scratch.  Instead he saw a glimpse of it while we were setting it up and had his melt down right then and there 10 min before we were to start the event.  Nice.  Troy somehow pulled off a miracle and replaced the 3-4 slides that most upset him ("I have a cold sore in that one!"  "I'm pulling a stupid face there!"), without messing up the timing too much.  I'm sorry, but if you want a photo of Big Boy where he's NOT pulling a silly face then you will be looking through a lot of silly faced photos to find a normal one.  I dare you to try and put together a slide show of BB without the silly showing through.  Not possible.  Here is one slide he didn't mind.  A Big Boy cartoon character drawn by his cousin....  

Awesome no?  Thanks Jarom!

So 4 days later we were on a plane to SLC and then a short visit with T's parents there before our 3.5hr drive to Rexburg.  On our way we stopped at a thrift store, a dollar store and a Walmart outside of town where it wouldn't be so crowded. We were like sleepy zombies walking down the isles trying to figure out what he would need.  We stopped when the rental car would hold no more.  We checked into the hotel and as BB was brushing his teeth he actually asked me, in all seriousness, if I could send him new toothbrushes when he texted me.  I logically answered that it would take several days for a toothbrush to get to him.  He graciously told me he could give me a few day's notice before his current toothbrush needed replacing.  I worried that this request meant he was not really ready for the real world.  And also that there was no time like the present for him to be pushed out of the nest.

By the time we left him we were ready to go and he was ready for us to go.  His manners where not the best and T and I were pretty upset as we drove back to Salt Lake.  This sense of entitlement and ingratitude made us feel like failures as parents.  It made saying good-bye fairly easy though I must say.  Then we had a bit of an ah ha moment on our long drive back.  He is a good kid.  He's making good choices.  He is where he needs to be.  He isn't perfect but neither are we.  We thought of some kids we know who are in much worse places right now than our son, and suddenly thought that perhaps we were the ungrateful ones.

On the ride to the airport I started thinking about my boy.  He must be getting ready for church.  Who would be waking him?  Would he find his cufflinks?  He might not find the iron, or matching socks.  Suddenly the tears started coming.  I'd been so strong up to this point.  Walking onto the plane- another mystery melt down.  I don't even know what I was thinking about at that point to bring it on.  The other passengers must have thought I was completely nuts.

At home without him there is an invisible hole where he used to be, and way too many cheese sticks in the fridge.  Being the oldest child, he had the tendency to always make his presence known.  It's quiet even though there are 4 kids left.  Weird.  I think it's going to be okay though.  Sniff.

Busy

Lately I have been so busy it's driving me crazy.  My house is a wreck and that always makes me edgy.  If I can't find stuff because of clutter I find that stressful beyond stressful.  Recently I have been asked to produce my kid's immunization records and due to a new purse purchase things have been moved around and relocated and now the records that I ALWAYS carry with me are lost.  I'm sure I have put them in a very safe place that I can't recall at the moment, but I think I may have to call in a hypnotist or something to recall where I safely put them away.  Nesting and purging hasn't produced them yet.  Today I tackle the playroom/office.  Say an extra prayer for me will ya?

I'm battling sinusitis again.  One germ comes through this house and most of the family ends up getting the sniffles and they are done in a few days. But for me, it ends in week long headaches and sleeplessness.  The added stress of getting a son ready for college has also been taking it's toll.  Throw in an eagle court of honor, a brother with re-occurring cancer, the recent death of a friend, and sinusitis and you've got quite the stress cocktail there!

I've been grinding my teeth and dreaming weird dreams.  School couldn't have started at a better time for me. It was yesterday! Yet each day I look at my to-do list and think "well- what am I going to be able to do here because I sure can't conquer it all."  I'm looking forward to one golden day soon that comes up on the calendar where nothing has to be done.  Where I can just think up something I want to do and do it!  We really need a new couch downstairs and we are in a position to purchase one too.  Like that doesn't happen too often right? But we have no time to shop for one.  Now that is sad.  Do I have you all feeling sorry for me yet?

I need to remember all the things I am blessed with and change my tune here.  I am typing with a migraine right now though so that makes it hard.

I am grateful that Little Girl went off to Kindergarten without much more than a nervous hand squeeze.  Today was day #2 and usually I would be back on the black top with her waving good-byes but my headache prevented that.  She was golden though with her big sister guardian taking her to her place in line for me.  I am so lucky to have Big Girl as my assistant.  She made her sister breakfast and labelled her T-shirt that had to be sent in with Little Girl's name in the tag with a sharpie.  So capable!

4th Grader and Kindergarten Baby

Sweet Sisters

Glad that Middle Boy has stopped complaining about cross country.  The team started practicing a couple weeks ago and getting him to go has been a struggle.  That boy likes things to come easily for him and when life just isn't like that he turns his back on life.  It's hard to see him like that.  But he's getting stronger and even ran faster then a usually faster friend of his yesterday.  That put a proud smirk on his face.  Little successes in life are sometimes the sweetest.

Happy that Big Boy has been less contentious as of late.  He and I are still learning how to navigate rough waters together.  He hates to be nagged by me but when there is A, B, C, D, and E to get done someone has to tell him about it.  As I am learning to let go more though, he seems to be coming around on some stuff on his own.  Weird how that happened the other day with Winter shoes.  He was convinced that he only needed his vans for Winters in Rexburg.  Would not be convinced otherwise.  My whisperings I'd heard before of having the "faith to let him fail" kept coming back to me.  I stopped arguing with him and told him it was his choice and I meant it.  A few hours later he came to his Dad and said he'd be taking his hiking shoes with tread and weatherproofing with him.  Now I ask you?  Why did he have to go to his Father and not me?  That would have been a sweet moment for me.  Oh well, can't win them all.

Big Boy's not above falling asleep on car rides

Little Boy continues to be a delight.  I am suspicious of him turning on me at any minute but will just enjoy him until then.



Well that is more than enough rambling on the blog.  I will go and do what I need to do- in spite of how I feel today.  Because that is just what we mothers do right?  Hope you are all well out there in the blogosphere.

Adventures in Utah

I am in the beehive state.  I needed dental work and have loss trust in my Maryland dentist so we decided to work in a family vacation around a gold crown on number 15.  It has been so great to connect with my many relatives here.  We also timed this so that I could possibly be here for the birth of my sister's baby.  She had it yesterday- Yeah!  I get to go down to Provo and meet him in about an hour.  I wisely decided to let the kids get some much needed rest this morning instead of waking them early to go go go as we have done done done all week week week.  My hint that this was needed was that my Big Girl said to me last night, "can we just have a day at Grandma's where we don't leave and we have nothing to do all day?"  Sounds boring to me but they just can't get enough of the suitcase full of old marbles and laundry scoopers she keeps for sorting.  Who needs LaGoon (a Utah amusement park) when you have a bunch of marbles?

Today our zoo plans have been changed to sleeping in and then going to see a new baby.  That sounds like a good swap.  Here's what we have done so far for anyone who's taking notes (and btw for all you stalkers who may be up to no good, my husband and two oldest boys are now home in Maryland so don't even think about home invasion).  What we've done in Utah (list style because details would only bore): LaGoon (disappointed in the lack of street shoot-outs in Pioneer Village but otherwise awesome).  A family reunion in the park with a 6 mile hike up the mountains and plenty of karaoke, paper airplane contests, ice-blocking and rain.  Get together with old friends from medical school days (twice! Meaning we met up with two different sets of friends).  This was a real highlight for me.  A family ice cream social with T's family-fun and fattening,  A visit to Utah lake where both boys got up on a wake board my husband skiied like a 20 yr old, I gave up on abusing my body trying to get up, and Little Boy's sunscreen failed him miserably.  That boy got an A for not giving up even when the life jacket was rubbing his poor armpits into abrasion status.  He was an inspiration to me.  Looking back I realized I forgot to use my old super duper gripping position that stops the handle from snapping out of my hands.  Next time for sure!  I better also keep doing my push-ups in cage fitness class.  There is still a Saturday left if I can corner my niece with a nice boat and bribe her somehow to take us inexperienced Easterners out on that filthy green lake of glass.  I'm afraid if Middle Boy hears that we went out again he without him he will be furious.  We also went swimming at a nice pool with water slides but way too many kids yesterday.  Afterwards we sampled the Utah Cafe Rio and made comparisons to the Olney one where we live.  About the same but with a whiter staff, tons more screaming kids, and a higher sneeze guard.  Then we went to the Iceburg malt shop and gorged on ice cream to the point of throwing the extra away.  Never had that happen before but we were without 3 of our best finishers.  All in all it's been busy but so fun.  I think I have T convinced that we need to do this annually.  We just need to plan for it. 

I was a bit worried because we left our oldest home alone for a week.  He showed all sorts of creativity when he ran out of gas money by filling his tank with our lawn mowing tanks.  Not surprisingly the lawn didn't get mowed.  But hey, at least the dog was alive upon T's return so that's saying something.  Maybe he will learn next time to not buy 10.00 headphones (when you only have 20.00 gas money) on his lunch hour at work just because he forgot his at home.  KIDS! 

Judge Not

I'll never forget the time I was visiting teaching CD and a phone call came from home.  Little Boy was upset.  The reason?  Oh no biggie, just that his two older brother's were about to kill one another.  "They are punching each other really hard Mom!"

I was in the middle of my spiritual thought, but after hanging up I was bluntly honest with CD.  I have little to no filter and was not really thinking too quickly on my feet when I said to her "I'm afraid we will have to cut this visit short today as my son's are in a fist fight at home right now."  She was ever so kind but I couldn't help but think she must be judging me right now.  How embarrassing!

I came home to find tempers raging and a black eye brewing on Middle Boy's face, and a few different versions of what happened being explained.  Sigh!

About a year later I was no longer CD's VT (visiting teacher), but our friendship had deepened.  She confided in me one day that her favorite visiting teaching moment with me was the time I had to leave to split up the fighting at home.  Wow, my messages must have really been unimpressive I thought.  She explained further.  That day she felt that I was not the perfect mother she had envisioned, and it made her feel relaxed I guess.  It made her feel all the more comfy with her position in parenthood.  Nobody's family is perfect.  She felt un-judged.

I've had people in my home before who I definitely felt judged by.  My step-Mom judged me unfairly for years.  Perhaps that is why whenever someone comes into my home and finds my house less than tidy I get upset.  Whenever we are getting ready for guests I feel my stress level begin to rise. If I get a surprise pop in from a visitor, instead of dropping everything and focusing on the visit, I am picking things up right and left.  Like they didn't have time to see it there already.  The impression of my dirty kitchen counter has already been seen, but I still wipe away like they caught me in the act of doing my chores for the day.  I have a distant relative who I have heard to be quoted as saying "I assume you came to see me and not look at the dirty house."  Wish I could adopt that attitude.

I was over to a friends home yesterday who was doing the exact same thing I do. Apologizing for the state of her kitchen and laundry and cleaning up in front of me.  I knew just how she felt.  So I started straightening right along with her, brushing toast crumbs off the counter into my hand and flinging them into the sink.  I wonder if that made her feel better or worse?  I hope better.  I meant well.

Sometimes it's better to show our imperfect side to others.  It gives us all a chance to let our hair down.  And let our black eyes show through.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

Hot Enough?

So my retired Fox-network-watching father has a habit of calling me whenever there is extreme weather of any kind in my area.  I reside in the East while he is in the West but mother nature and the weatherman keep us connected.  In fact if we do get a bit of bad weather and he doesn't call I start to worry.  He'll be a day or two late sometimes with his phone call and when he finally does call I'll say "Dad, we had a tornado warning and I was so worried.... what's that?  No the tornado wasn't the bad thing, it was that you didn't call and I figured you must be out lying dead by the side of the road who knows where, because you didn't pick up the phone to tell me it was windy outside!"

We had a heat wave out here recently (our summer's first), and I was organizing my pantry when the phone rang.  It was Dad.  "Hey I just thought I'd call and tell you that you all are dropping like flies out there" he says.  "What would I do without you?  I'd never know when it was humid or hot or cold or windy or anything!  I never notice these things until the phone rings and you tell me.  Thanks Pop."  Then there was more conversation about the dry heat vs the humid heat.  Like I didn't know the difference.  It's really actually kinda enchanting that he cares enough to call and tell me it's hot outside where I live.  When a hurricane comes through he calls to ask if I have a generator for when I lose power.  We talk about horsepower and gasoline supply.  Then we usually run out of things to say (unless he decides to get political on me), and we hang up until the next bit of weather decides to happen.  

This past time he called I shared some of the troubles I have been having with my teen.  He shared some of his wisdom and we moved on to other topics until it was time to say goodbye.  I always know when he is finished with me.  It's always "well I"ll let you go" or sometimes a quick jab at Obama care and a swift good-bye.  He has to get his opinions in there but has learned not to start a fight with me, bless his heart.  He is now 83.  Who knows how many phone calls we have left.  Our entire family has scheduled a trip to Utah this summer and we can all see him in person.  I can just imagine feeling the altitude getting to me in the dry July heat as we hike and fly paper airplanes and sing our traditional camp song "Bill Grogan's Goat."

Big Boy is refusing to go with us.  I purposely didn't buy him a ticket because he was looking for a summer job and we weren't sure how flexible his job would be.  Turns out, the job he ended up with  has a flexible boss who would let him go if he wanted to, but he is a teenager who knows everything and isn't interested in pleasing Mom.  He has decided he "has to" stay here and earn money for college/mission.  I am done arguing with him and think that perhaps a break from family for him right now might be best.  We need a dog walker anyways.  Maybe after a week's absence from us he'll learn some appreciation for a few things we do for him around here.  Maybe he'll long for a call from Utah telling him how hot it is outside today.  I just hope he isn't missing out on a last chance to be in the same dry heat as his Grandpa.  He'll regret that all the way down to the fiery furnace below if that happens.

(Joking!  I really don't think my teenager is headed for Hell just for refusing to go on a family vacation with us- it's for all the other disrespectful stuff he does that he'll earn that walk of shame-  KIDDING again!!!)

Leaving my Nest

Recently we had some baby birds nesting in our front yard.  I noticed the Momma bird coming and going during the nesting stage and knew that we'd have chirping babies soon enough.  My husband did not know what he was doing when he chopped up the climbing vine that they had nested in.  He just thought he was doing yard work, not nearly decapitating newly hatched robins.  When he discovered the exposed birds he felt horrible.  We watched with anticipation to see if the Mother bird would continue feeding the birds after our human invasion.  She kept up the good work alright.  Now we had a front row seat to nature and every once in a while I would peek my head over their nest to see the upturned open beaks begging to be fed.  I would watch that busy mother delivering her worms and think "I know just how you feel, these kids never stop eating do they?"

Aren't they sweet?!

Then a week or so later we were witnesses to an exciting event.  Just as I drove into our driveway I turned and saw two baby birds on the edge of jumping out of the nest.  I had been taking baby bird photos so I thought it would be cool to catch this momentous event on camera for my facebook friends to see.  I sent my oldest out with my iphone.  As soon as he started to get close enough for a picture I regretted my request.  What if he got so close that he scared them to leap before they felt ready.  Maybe they weren't really about to leap but looking for the Mother bird who had been late delivering worms.  Or maybe it was just a leg stretching opportunity, not a real jump/fly day.  Sure enough, my worst fear happened and it appeared that bird number one, in an attempt to get away from my son's paparazzi photo shoot, jumped to get away from him.  My window was down and I heard myself shout "STOP! You are not ready yet!!"  The bird fell to the ground and started hobbling through the grass and right into the street just in time for the mother bird to come back.  I could interpret the chirps she was making to mean "I leave you for 2 minutes and look what trouble you get into!?"

My emotions about the whole thing surprised me.  I was really upset.  Beyond what I thought was appropriate for what had happened.  Tears went down my face as I tried to figure this reaction out. What were we humans doing to this poor bird family?!  First we sabotage their home then force them out of the nest prematurely.  Then we take photos for our viewing pleasure?!  I cried some more.  What was up with this reaction I thought?  Why did I seem to instinctively shout "NO!  It's not your time."  Then this photo shoot came to mind and it all made perfect sense.  

Thinking scholarly thoughts

What a stilly lookin hat

Glad to be outta dat building!

Happy Graduate!

Flying ahead of me already

My other graduate.  Her graduation fee was much less- thus the card-stock cap and lack of gown