I am blogging to you from Orem Utah at my sister's home this evening. I should be sleeping. I must have caught a cold on the airplane ride over here and every time I lay down I get stuffy. Today my voice started to go and you know that feeling when you get cranky because your voice is failing? You can't visit with relatives properly or tell your kids what to do from accross the room, and answering a boat-load of questions from your 3 year old is irritating as heck? Well- I've got that.
JoAnn's funeral was yesterday and it was very nice. Her brother did a very nice but lengthy (30 min) tribute to her and I found out a lot of things I never knew before. Like she was class president of her elementary school. And she invented the "freeze bell." It's where when you hear the first bell a recess you have to freeze and then the second bell calls you inside. This solved the problems they were having with kids not coming in from recess. She was a thinker that JoAnn! Her four living children all spoke and they did a great job. Now that must have been tough. I felt closer to them afterwards. I never knew them too well before since they were all raised before JoAnn married my Dad. They've kinda kept to themselves for the past 21 years. I guess we have too. When we parted I told them that if they were ever in DC that they had a friend in me.
The thought in the forefront of my mind during the funeral service is that it was a shame that we weren't closer. It was a shame that we didn't see this good side of JoAnn more while she was alive. I mean, I know we glorify the dead and speak highly of them at funerals but there were a lot of nice things said about her that I had no clue about. I kept thinking "who is that woman? I would have loved to have had her for a step mom!" It was sad that she didn't know our good sides either. We were in a difficult situation when she married my Dad just four months after our mother passed away. We tried our best. That is all we can do I guess. It was hard for me not to wonder what might have been though.
The other weird thought is that the two mothers I have had are now on the other side together. I wonder what that meeting went like? "So, I liked what you did with the kitchen remodel.... Thank you for taking care of my husband for so long, I know he snores and watches too much television. Now about that sweater of Kelly's that you threw out : )
Stuff I write about.... How's that for creative?
7 comments:
i cant even imagine going through that, but it sounds like you had an open heart and an open mind and it was a good experience.
i have known a few of these circumstances and i wonder if you have any theories on why lds men remarry so fast. i have seen it so many times and i find it odd. i hope it wasnt hurtful or inappropriate to ask you that. if is was, i am sorry and please feel free to trash my question!
i hope you feel better and get to enjoy some of your trip.
I felt the same way after my mother-in-law died. We got off to a rocky start when I married in, but fortunately things we got much closer as her health failed. But I wondered why I hadn't tried harder to be her friend earlier in our marriage. Then I found her diary from those early years. Enough said.
Noyb,
I know what you mean (and you question doesn't offend). I think one reason LDS men re-marry quickly is because they find being alone too hard. They also seem to have a better selection to choose from.
You've been through a lot and it's good you got to know your step-mom better and her kids.
Hope your cold gets better. Having no voice, or a weak scratchy voice is miserable!
I appreciate your honesty, Aunt Kelly. I agree with you on every account.
Loves - Cdub
I know what you mean by the difficulties of funerals. Also, there seems to always be all of those questions which we never seemed to ask…
Hope you're doing well with this. If you're still in Orem, let me know via email from my blog. It would be fun to meet you.
In a totally non-creepy way...
I like the idea of people we've loved getting to meet each other on the other side of the veil. Good thing they're all loaded with charity, though-- can you imagine the dirt they could reveal if they weren't feeling charitable? On me, at least. . .
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