Back to School 2010

I am feeling the end of summer coming and it has me a bit down.  Just when you get into a lazy sleeping-in, no-set-schedule groove, it's time to shop for school supplies.   I don't know about you but when I get to the store and find all the school supply shoppers have already raided the bins of all the glue sticks and packages of 16 count crayons, I get a bit nervous.  I mean we still have a couple weeks left, but here I was stuck trying to decide if I would have to buy the extra large glue sticks (x10) or hop over to another Target in the area.  Don't even get me started on the lack of folder choices.  My 16 and 13 year old boys were almost forced to go to high school with Bratz folders.  And why is it such a big deal to the school if I buy 2 packs of 24 count  Crayola crayons instead of the 16 packs they 'requested?'  It said right there in black and white: '16 packs only.'  Are they afraid of some kind of riot breaking out amongst the second graders if my daughter is the only one with 3 shades of green in her pack?  Must we all be totally equal in our color selections?

Living in the East has some disadvantages.  One of those disadvantages is that PC rules and sometimes, it's just plain silly.  For instance I was once told that for the 'Fall Festival' parade there should be no witch costumes for fear of offending any of the real practicing witches.  As if a cute little girl in a pointy hat is upsetting to someone out there.  Seems more like an homage than a slap in the face.  Am I right?  Or is someone going to twitch their nose and cast a spell on me?  Also, there may be Hanukkah songs at the 'Winter Muscial' but any mention of a Christ child and you will be banned to outer PC darkness.  Everything is political here so I assume the 16 count only crayon decision is also somehow related.

But back to my feelings while looking into all the emptied bins at Target.  It wasn't unlike the first day of school itself.  I felt a bit panicky.  I felt a bit behind on the things I should have been on top of.  I felt overwhelmed, distressed, and cranky.  All the feelings of going back to school itself.  I half expected to look down and find that I was standing there in my underwear.  But I knew that wasn't the case.  Thank goodness!  Somehow I managed to pull it together and shop for half the things they did have in stock.  I picked up the correct items later at Safeway.  I should have known to shop at the less obvious place originally.  You have to be tricky sometimes when you live in densely populated areas.  It's like survival of the best shopper!  I was told in confidence that when firewood is out at Home Depot the best place to search is Seven Eleven.  If you are a local and reading this, please keep that on the down low.

So I guess this year for my back-to-school theme dinner with my children all dressed in overly pressed button down white shirts, (and gay floral dresses on the girls), we will have a theme of political correctness with a splash of where to shop info printed out on crepe paper hanging ornately from my chandelier.  Happy Back to School to you and yours!