So today was interesting. I went to the hospital to work out a prescription error that happened and while I was in the elevator a friendly man looked at my two lovely daughters and said to me "you are SO lucky" I said "yes I am" He then went on to say how he would give anything to have young cute kids again. He wished he could go back in time and do it over, etc. Then another woman in the elevator said "you couldn't pay me to go back! I am so glad it's over" My first thought, was- that's a mother's perspective for you. Someone who remembers all the hard work, this Dad was probably just the come home from work and play with the kids type. Then we went on to discuss the number of kids I had and just as I was about to get off the truth came out that I have 3 older sons in school. There were 2 college aged young men in the elevator with us, and they seemed a bit shocked. It's funny, I can remember when I used to think that telling people I had 5 kids someday would be a bit embarrassing. Now I feel like it's somewhat of a badge of courage for everyone to admire. Shows how I have matured I guess. (Or maybe I am now just cocky). So I found myself being somewhat like my Father (who used to embarrass the heck out of me) saying to them all as I left something like "I leave to all to ponder and respect me as I get out on floor number 2 here" (What the?)
Then as I walked to my van, thinking about my kids and the value of having a family, a somber thought came to me. I remembered how the schools went on lock down Monday because of some man who flipped out and killed his family and was missing. He later drove into a cement barrier on the freeway killing himself as well. I was shocked to find out later that he and his wife had adopted 4 Chinese children. How does someone go from being the kind of person who adopts children from China to someone who embezzles money from his work to support his drug habit then gets caught and sees no other way out except to kill his family and himself? Someone very very selfish and depressed. Someone I don't understand at all. Sorry to be so depressing in my last two entries. I am grateful to be alive and safe and to have a loving husband who makes good choices. Life can get awfully messy when you don't. Perhaps it is better to be the come at home and play with your kids type after all.