Starting this post with nowhere in mind to go. Yesterday was hard. I had a sick child and that is always hard. Then I started to worry about her because she threw up so many times and had not peed all day. She had been acting lethargic. Thankfully she turned a corner around 4:00. I had been running the boys to their music lessons and had left Middle Boy in charge of the sickling. I also went to the grocery store thinking about how this could turn bad in a hurry and I loaded up on gatorade and sugar cookies to coax eating out of her. When I arrived at home and found her on the toilet peeing I couldn't have been more pleased. Then a fever started a couple hours later and my worry returned. This morning she has eaten half a bowl of cereal so I am happy again.
Parenthood is so hard sometimes. Worry, relief, anger, stress, guilt. They are all a part of this job on a daily basis for me. Then by the end of the day I am spent and so is my patience. That's when things really get hard. But I wake up the next day and the birds are singing and there's a gentle spring breeze coming through the window. The checkbook just balanced and my boy who was so upset with me last night is out the door with smilles and 'I love yous' and I think I just might be able to go on. Perhaps the library today. Perhaps more strawberry picking before the heat gets too high. Maybe the pool after school. The possibilities of being a good Mom are endless. And so (sigh) are the possibilities that I will mess up again and again. Maybe I need to sit down and make a list of my blessings. That always helps...
1-I am healthy
2-My husband loves me
3-God loves me
4-I have great kids
5-We have enough money
6-I can sing
7-I love where we live
8-Summer vacation is almost here
9-We will go to the beach
10-We can afford to have the area rug cleaned where Little Girl barfed up red strawberries
That's all for now.... I need to get someone up for school.
Hope your day is a good one!