July 02, 2007

Random talk

Hey there, I haven't blogged in a while since I have not been with the computer (T took it with him when he drove to Iowa while I stayed behind to attend my 20th high school reunion). And I must say that using my Mother in law's dial up computer sure is an experience in patience (or impatience) for me. But I feel the need to vent a bit tonight so I thought I would brave the hour glass that tells me to wait and wait and wait on her computer and crank out an entry.

So much to say, where to start. I have been missing my friends in Korea- shout out to K T and M B! I have had so much fun reconnecting with friends and family here in Utah. However the phyical effort it takes to drive all over and care for my kids in a vacation mode is really wearing on me and tonight was a bad night for me and the kids. Possibly the stress of getting ready to go tomorrow has added to this...

One thing that has been bothering me is that my Dad gave be a little lecture tonight on trying to get along better with my stepmom JA. This was our last conversation in the car while he was driving me to SLC to drop me off for the flight tomorrow and I just hated parting with him this way. I feel this lecture was pretty unfair since I have tried my darndest to ignore the rude things she says here and there to me and about my loved ones all week. It's strange how he doesn't seem to notice her mean streak. He's probably bugged that I chose not to stay over at his home when I could have last night. I chose to stay at my sister Shauna's instead since the kids and I were having such a good time there. I hope I didn't overstay my welcome with her and her roomate. I was so happy to have someone who paid attention to my kids the way a real caring relative should that I just couldn't bear going back to the house of no running or touching valuable things. Anyways, one of the last things he says to me is "you and JoAnn don't have to live under the same roof" and I say the obvious come back which is "thank heavens!" right? He then takes the opportunity to tell me that this is the core problem I have that I have to have the last word and that I have all these zingers at the ready. I had no response to that... Perhaps I need to re- evaluate my need to say something to him. He is getting old and I don't want to go down this road over and over only to have him up and die some day with me feeling badly towards him. He is in a tricky situation being in the middle of two women he loves who don't really like eachother. I must add a zinger here at the end though-it's really all her fault.


Melissa said...

A shout right back out to ya! I'm sorry your stay in Utah didn't end on a more positive note. I can imagine you were probably hurt and frustrated with the whole situation--I would be. Keep your chin up Kelly. The sun'll come out tomorrow. Lots of love to you.

Barrett said...

Hey Kelly,
This is so cool. I can relate to the dial up. We had it in Utah and didn't understand why people would be so uptight about our slow computer. Now I understand after having high speed for two years!
It was great to see you again at the reunion. I just wish I could have spent more time visiting. Family relationships are tough. It is interesting that you just wrote about your dad because just today I was thinking about him. Wow! I thought. It is amazing that he has been able to be with more than one woman. He must be so adaptable. I remember looking at the pictures on the wall of your old home and you telling me about which mom belonged to each child. Most people can only learn to get along with one partner and your dad is simply amazing in that regard.
However, my heart goes out to you because I know that it must be difficult. Separation really does wonders. It is the few days, though, when you visit that you realize how nice it is to be separated!!! I think it is because we forget the quirky actions and attitudes that everyone seems to have.
I'm so happy that you were able to be with your sister. There is nothing better than when someone else appreciates and adores your children like you do!