September 15, 2013


Lately I have been struggling.  Struggling to adjust to my son being gone for two years.  Struggling with time management.  Struggling to figure out where I stand with people.  Struggling with children who make less than the best decisions.  I have figured out that this life is full of struggle.  Struggling with decisions about what to make for dinner....

But then there is calm.  Calm that comes with knowing I am not alone.  Calm when I attend the temple.  Calm when I look outward.  Calm when I serve someone else.  Calm when I realize that my struggles are understood.  Calm when I realized what I have to be thankful for.  Calm when I get to take a nap. Calm when I laugh with my children.  Calm when I cuddle with my husband.  Calm when the cleaning lady comes.  Calm when I know someone is looking out for me.

Tomorrow I will face another Sunday.  Those are hard days for me lately.  Mondays are worse.  I struggle now to decide if I should mention why.  I struggle with being to open and honest on my blog.  I've actually tried to be less forthcoming to protect the guilty.  Yes, the guilty party who is too young to know better but may look back and feel betrayed.

T and I are taking a parenting class on Sunday evenings.  Parenting is the toughest gig.  My missionary son asked in his last letter why we were taking a parenting class now.  Weren't we finished with parenting?  I guess he forgot that he has a 6 year old sister.  In am tempted to write back that we were hoping not to make the same mistakes on the rest of the kids that we made with him.  I held back (but not here- see my struggle?).  One thing they talked about in the class last week was tenderness.  Are we tender with our children?  We will get much better results when parenting if we use love in equal or more amounts as opposed to discipline.  So I worked on that this week.  I found it much easier than I thought.  I got to say he was right about that.  I had much more success than failure.

I believe one key here may be to let go of the struggle and get on with the cuddle.  It melts cold hearts.

I wrote a paper letter to my son in Washington State.  I went through many drafts and even asked for outside opinions.  My goal was to show love and also to inspire and motivate behavior that has not seen previously.  If only I could give him a cyber hug.  I haven't seen the expected response yet.  Maybe Monday...

1 comment:

CSIowa said...

A friend with three grown children once told me that her oldest got the worst of her parenting, her second got the best of it and the third got the rest of it. It isn't an easy job, and none of the kids is the same as the one before whom you finally started to figure out.