September 17, 2010

Judging from Yesterday

Yesterday I got home and heard an answering machine message from the dentist's office confirming my appointment coming up on Monday.  Her tone was irritating.  I don't know, it was just the way she said "I want you to CALL ME at the following number to confirm your 9:00am appointment for Monday Sept 20th."  I usually call back.  I am usually responsible.  I have worked in dental offices on and off all my life and I realize the value of confirming your appointment.  But something about her bossy words put me off and there was no way I was calling that girl back to confirm.  Oh, I am coming to the appointment alright, but they were not going to know until they saw the whites of my eyes (and the whites of my teeth).  Don't tell me in BOLD-tone to call you back like that, nuh uh.

Then I got online and noticed an email about a reduced fare on ticket prices from Salt Lake to Baltimore.  I quickly got on the phone with my newly widowed father to tell him he should really get me to book him a flight at such a good price.  140.00 discounted!  He was as non-committal as I had expected.  The man has a lot of grandkids and a busy social life.  He has been dating up a storm lately and can't be bothered with much else.  He even took a week-long trip with a new lady friend recently (separate sleeping quarters- he's a good Mormon), only to find out they were not compatible.  He's 81 and in a super duper hurry to find another wife before he gets too old(?).  He doesn't want to be alone.  I get that, I do.  But to tell me that he just can't get on a plane right now and come for Thanksgiving or a granddaughter's baptism because "I just might be getting married that day" seemed ridiculous to me.  Is it just me?  Then he changed the subject and got all political on me telling me how we are overly regulated in our driver's education rules out here in the East.  Also when I mentioned that the kids had a day off from school for primary elections (my mistake.... I brought it up) he said something about how the educators must have needed to take a day off so that they could keep voting the Democrats into office out here.  Sigh...  I love him but the man is crazy!  Good thing he doesn't read my blog eh?

So later that evening I am in a parking lot waiting for an event to start and no one is there yet so I can't get into the building (okay it was a relief society meeting if you were curious).  And I decided to start texting my sister while I waited.  I told her of my exchange with our father earlier and she tells me he's a "mover and a shaker" and other such things.  "True"  I texted back.  Then she says "I don't judge him I just want him to do what makes him happy."  Suddenly I am a bit on the defense.  Who says I was judging him?  I just think he should own up to the real reasons he can't come see us and not blame it on a possible wedding date that could be happening any minute.  It's hard to communicate via texting so I am not ruffled (really) but in the moment I was thinking isn't it judgmental to tell someone you don't judge?

Maybe I am hormonal... Everyone was bugging me yesterday.  Good thing I can start fresh today!

12 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I make reminder calls the night before for our therapy appointment, and I never say that. I always say if you have a problem or question, please call. But I assume that people will actually make the appointment time.

Kat said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
Oh my word, you are so funny. Seriously. Not calling that lady back because of her tone. That is SOOO something I would do. HAHAHA!!!

Your dad sounds like a hoot! I love it! And yes, I would be a bit peeved that he wasn't coming to visit, but I can't help being a bit amused as well. People do what they have to do to get over loss. And his comments on the teachers. HAHAHA!!!! Seriously, I want to meet your dad. :)

You crack me up, girl! Don't change! :)

We Don't Mean to Brag said...

Thanks Kat. I didn't think I was that funny in this post but you really make me feel good...

Cherie said...

Oh my gosh - Your Dad sounds EXACTLY like my Father In law. Seriously, it has driven me crazy for years - Mostly the made up excuses!
Oh man you gotta love them!

noyb said...

i may have posted a comment like this before, but i will risk being repetitive. what is it with mormon widowers? its like they have to be married again so fast. its really an epidemic in the church(imo)it really irritates me. i understand wanting companionship(heck, maybe even sex, but maybe not so much at that age. i dont know)and all that, but COME ON. in your specific case, i dont blame you at all for being hurt, irritated, or otherwise pissed off. maybe you should line him up with a few blind dates and that will be an incentive for him to come out. :)
i wouldnt have called the dental receptionist hag back either. totally unprofessional of her.

Kelly said...

Noyb
I am sorry if it irritates you. I find it a bit unsettling too, but when I man has been married for most of his life I think it's hard for him to go it alone. You gotta admire his determination to get back on the horse. I would much rather he be actively engaged in a good cause then wallowing away in sadness...

Ruth Ann said...

OOOOO! I went through this whole "encouraging Dad to come visit" thing too. Mom died in a car accident (75 yrs) and Dad was in shock for a long time. Eventually he met an old friend from his mission and married her. But he hated having us 6 kids invite him for visits. He just couldn't do it. Now I think it was because Mom would not have been at his side.
P.S. Drop the "judging" worry. It gets way too difficult. Much easier to drop it in the first place.

c a n d a c e said...

LOVED THIS POST, Aunt Kelly!! Grandpa is a little crazy that way. My Dad talks about how much he dates and moves on and such. It kinda blows my mind. Sorry he won't come see you - that also blows my mind a bit. I kinda hope I'm not that selfish at 81.
*shrug*
Just sayin.... Love ya!

Kelly said...

I wonder sometime if it's selfishness or just slowing down with age.

I mean he calls me when the weather is acting up to see if I'm okay but a visit is much more trouble... He is split between so many people he can't visit us all. Another reason why I won't have more than I can handle (kids that is)...

Connie said...

What a day you had! Sometimes things get under my skin and it's hard to shake it. I'll have to tell you some of my stories one day. In the meantime, come on over to my blog and claim your prize, you lucky lady!

Kelly said...

Whoo Hoo! I must have done something good.

Teachinfourth said...

Maybe he's hormonal, too? Probably not…