Perfection

For years my husband has been trying to make me the perfect fried egg.  I've told him how I like it.  Not too underdone, not too overdone.  I've coached him about keeping the heat down and not seasoning it before it's cooked.  He continues to try and I'm sorry to say that he continues to miss the mark.  I feel like a heel for not hiding my feelings about his egg when he offers it to me.  He asks, with eyes hopeful, "how was your egg?" "Good but a bit overdone"  Is usually my reply.  I am nothing if not honest.

I think, no I know there have been a few bad meals I have dished him up over the years.  He never complains.  Yet somehow you just know when the mark has been missed.  Bless his heart he really does try to get my eggs right but usually I offer to make one for myself... and he knows why.  It's because I know how I like it.  I also know how I like my pancakes but that's another topic for another day.

He just wants to please me and is so eager to learn so the other day I gave him a few more clues to the way I like them fried.  I suggested keeping the temperature lower and cooking it longer.  Making sure not to crack the egg into a cold pan.  He came and showed the egg to me while I was getting out of the shower.  Looked okay!  He put it on a slice of toast for me.  I was in a rush and thought I might have to get the egg to go, but there was still a few minutes on the clock for me to sit down and eat.  I cut into my egg and watched it run all over the plate.  Too runny.  You know it's really hard to get it medium soft!  I'm not quite sure how I do it but I think it's the experience I've had at the skillet making eggs for so many over the years and my internal clock just knows when to say when.  I was honest about my egg.  But I was also grateful for the effort and I ate it anyways.

At least T still has something to look forward to perfecting in his future.  He has to have one flaw : )

What's New?

Since I have been slackin' and I need to catch up quick, here's a short list of what has been going down at my place.

!-Big Boy has heard back from 2 of the 4 colleges he applied to.  Both said yes!  Utah State and and BYU Idaho.  We are now in the process of nagging him to fill out scholarship applications.  Wish us luck!  We still have our fingers crossed for BYU Provo.  Only because that is where we have a lot of family.  It would be nice knowing another mother is close by to knock him on the head when he needs it.

@-T and I had a NYC get away!  It was just overnight but it was sure fun to get away.  We saw a broadway play (How to Succeed) and T spoke at the Vetran's hospital in his dress uniform.  Walking down the streets of NY with him in full uniform was a funny thing.  He got lots of sideways glances, one salute and a hearty "Thank you Sir!" from one man.  I was proud to be on his arm.  And he looked pretty handsome too : )  I had about 4 thank-you notes to write we returned.  So many nice friends pitched in to help out with my kiddos.  Even when Little Girl was at high risk for barfing during her overnight stay.

PS our edgy hotel had zebra print light fixtures!

the ceiling at Union Station where we caught the early train to NYC

#- I am in hyper-planning mode getting ready for Big Boy's surprise birthday party on the 10th.  He turns 18 on the 8th so I plan on a simple family party that day and a big surprise shindig on the 10th.  Our theme (because I must have one) is a tribute to red-heads.  Guests are encouraged to come dressed as their favorite red-head or wear a provided orange bandana.  We will serve carrot cake, mandarin orange salad, and ginger ale.  Orange jelly beans will fill our new jelly belly dispenser.  We're having a game of "name that red-head" with orange prizes.  An epic orange dart gun war.  It might be embarrassing for him, but it should be fun too.  We shall see...

$-T and I are coming up on our 20th anniversary.  We are trying to plan a get away but it hasn't quite come together yet.  It feels weird trying to plan something when we just got back from NY.  We were thinking about a cruise (but no longer- thanks Italian cruise ship captain for confirming my worst fears about a cruise).  Maybe a beach house rental, a bed and breakfast somewhere... any suggestions?

%- Notice how I have been using symbols instead of numbers?  Weird how I made that mistake with Number 1 and accidentally typed !  So I just went with it for the rest of the list.  I'm wacky.  Even stranger is the fact that some of the symbols actually went with my topics.  Look again if you're in denial and believe me when I say it wasn't on purpose.  I got nothing for % so I better end.  Have a great Tuesday.

Blessed Christmas

It's the day after Christmas and all through my house,
are things to be picked up by me and my spouse.
My new rule says kids must pick up their messes.
The darts from new dart guns, the games and doll dresses.

For the new plan clearly states,
that after I ask
by shouting "CLEAN SWEEP"
they must all start the task
of sweeping the room of their most beloved items.
Because if in my grasp?
Those things go bye bye *ahem*

It should be made known that I have several sacks,
full of old cast offs
for other folk's shacks.
You'll recall my post here,
were I clearly state,
that we have too much stuff
in our middle class estate (perhaps you relate?).

The donation pile grows as my children slack off,
and leave on the floor the undies and socks.
I'm showing some mercy when collecting such things,
as coats, violins, and brand new mood rings.
But I'm trying to use my best poker face,
when stating that everything must have it''s place,
and if it is left out- I've stated my case.
Some other kid's mom will have to make chase,
over things left on floors...The next tactic is mace.
(just kidding- don't call social services on me!)


But the day after Christmas is such a hard day,
for keeping things tidy.
Kids just want to play,
and moms are so tired and merciful too.
Parents are just happy the kids have stuff to do,
before toys get boring and they all cry boo hoo.

So I'm turning my gaze to more peaceful thoughts,
of how nice it is to have T home washing pots
For hugs from my oldest- Happy this year?
Seems someone put nice-boy-dust into his ear.
I'm grateful for kids who are healthy and sound.
For a cancer-free brother two feet on the ground.

Could be, this blessed day made my evil side flip.
Perhaps trials of others make me double dip,
and re-think the importance of a perfect clean house,
with crumbs much to small for the interest of mouse.

I'm just glad we're together under cold drafty roof,
playing apples to apples eating food that goes "poof" (as it disappears rapidly see?)
Happy for foot-rubs and good luvin' from Troy.
Grateful for each little safe girl and boy.
That is what trials in this life can do.
It can make you feel glad it ain't happenin' to you.

It can make your heart grow as you think of the stress
That others experience
and count yourself blessed.

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!  We sure did : )

Mourning with Those Who Mourn

Tragic news yesterday evening.  Just as we were about to go ding dong ditching for Family Night I got a call from my Dad.  I was in the laundry room doing.... laundry when he called to tell me.  At first I thought it would be about my brother with cancer, but no.  My lifelong girlfriend with 11 children had found her 2 year old drowned in their family pool just that afternoon.  She has a 3 week old baby, it's 6 days before Christmas and now she has to bury her 2 yr old girl.  I let out a wail of sorrow for my friend.  My son came running to see what was the matter.

I tried to keep upbeat during our outing but every time my kids would exit the van to plant goodies on a neighbor's porch, I'd put my hand to my forehead and just feel helplessly sad.  I thought about calling her when we got home but I know she will be informing her family and talking to them the first day.  She is the youngest (along with a twin) of 12 children in their family.  So I sent her an email and ordered flowers for her.  I wish there was more I could do.  I want to ask my friends to facebook to pray for her, but somehow it feels like the wrong place to share such news.

I keep looking at my healthy children and being grateful for them (even my teenager).  I barked at my 4 yr old this morning and felt terrible right afterwards.  She knows I am upset and keeps giving me love this morning.  Such an intuitive child.

As I laid awake last night, thinking of my friend, I thought of her motherhood tasks ahead that will be hard.  Like looking at that pool, or folding her daughter's clothing as it comes through the wash.  Unwrapping her presents and returning them.  Seeing her sippy cups in the cupboard.  If I were her neighbor I would offer to come and take care of some of those tasks for her, but not until after I first gave her a huge hug.

I know that she will see her daughter again and that the atonement is real.  I know families are forever.  But this really sucks all the same.  Nobody gets through this life without trial.  It's just part of the deal, but for now I am angry and sad that this happened to my friend.  I wish I could make this better.  Not gonna happen.

Gratitude

I just had a sweet experience.  One of my primary students just knocked on my door with a handmade note telling me he was thankful for having had me as his teacher this past year.  He started to cry when I told him he would be missed in my class.  His mom and I teared up as well.  Man does it ever feel good to be appreciated!  I seem to have forgotten what that feels like.

Then, just now, I started musing about my own boys when they were young.  About a time when I revealed to Big Boy the truth about St Nicholas.  I was the teller of this secret to my son because he was getting to be an age where kids at school might tease his sweet believing soul.  He looked up at me and instead of the feeling of betrayal most kids might feel his was an expression of thanks.  "All that time it was you?" he said in amazement.  "Yep- I am Santa's helper" said I.  "Gee, Mom- THANKS!" was what came next out of his mouth, and then lots of questions about how on earth we could afford it.  Typical first child worries.

I need to remember that sweet guy in there.  I know he is still in there somewhere underneath all the hormones.  I'm glad my primary student came by today to remind me...

Are you Ready?

Are you ready for Christmas?  I almost am!  I still need to do a few small things like buy enough gift bags and send off my Christmas cards but I am about there.  Oh- I do have a sewing project to make but if that doesn't happen then I will just rejoice in the fact that I have a daughter with a birthday on Dec 31st!  Nothing like putting off something for another celebration and pretending you were totally on top of it.

This year my tendency to get it done early came back to bite me.  My husband was shopping with a couple kids for our family's secret Santa gift exchange and my oldest saw a book he has been pining for.  He had enough money to buy it for himself but my husband (knowing I had it in store for him for Christmas), would not let him buy it.  I am convinced more and more that the teenager stage is very similar to the terrible-two-tantrum stage, because the rest of the evening was just one big tantrum.  When he figured out why he couldn't buy his book he got super mad at me (of course me!) for always buying things too early.  I guess they should just call social services on me because I shop early.  Shame on me.

I really felt bad that I had a son who would have this illogical/spoiled reaction.  Telling me I ruin Christmas every year for him because I don't consider what he wants and give him enough time to come up with a wish list.  I am half tempted to give him nottin' for Christmas 'cause he ain't been nottin' but bad.  But part of me thinks that is just a revengeful thought.  We were just going to get him luggage for college but that seemed a bit sad so he had a few other real gifts... but now?  Not so sure...  Oh how I wish I had a magic 8 ball telling me what to do.

Another puzzle lately is Big Girl.  She just hasn't been herself lately.  I don't know if it's the anticipation of the holidays stressing her out, or a girl at school who has been a bit of a bully, or her big brothers teasing her but she is an emotional mess.  Maybe I am not so used to girls and their emotions.  She did have a bit of shell shock last week when cutting off all her hair to donate.  I thought that had worn off though.  This morning she was so blue I started getting worried.  The thought came to me while cleaning up the dishes that perhaps she just needs me to paint her nails with crackle nail polish.  She has been asking for some.  I have been meaning to get some.  But what she's really in need of isn't the manicure, it's the time with me.  It's my approval.  I hate the kinds of TV shows she chooses (Sonny with a Chance, Wizard's of Waverly Place),  and when I show my dislike for such shows claiming they are too mature for an 8 yr old she gets super offended.  Like I don't like her or something.  Should I give Sonny a chance? Or hold my ground here?  Not sure...

Before Big Cut

After

The look on her face says it all...

Now we just need to mail these braids to Locks of Love

Dear Santa what I really want this year for Christmas is the insight of my mother who is no longer here to ask advise from.  She'd know just how to fix these problems I keep having.  In the mean time I am off to buy crackle nail polish and try to paint my way back onto her good side today after school...

The Purge Before the Binge

So it all started when I was getting ready for a visit from a relative.  I'm wired to start organizing only when I know someone may be looking in these closets with a judgmental eye.  And really, who does that better than a visiting sister right?  So the linen closet and medicine cabinets got the once over.  Purging expired medication and other odds and ends I wasn't using felt liberating.  Our 40 yr old house wasn't build with roomy closets either so extra space is a blessed thing here.

My sister came and went, and I'm not sure we slowed down long enough for her to look inside any of my medicine cabinets, but it felt good knowing they were cleared out.  On November 29th I felt the need to purge again due to a truck picking up donations in my neighborhood the following day.  Alas I read the date wrong and what I thought read Nov 30th was actually Nov 03.  So 8 bags of stuff from my playroom now sit in the corner waiting to be asked to the prom (just kidding- I am aware that there is no prom for discarded playroom toys, I just liked saying that).  That's a lot of toys that I now have to keep secret from my children until the next pick up.  Big Boy is the most sentimental of all of my kids and he has already unloaded one trash bag full of stuffed animals.  Some have not been played with for 4-5 years.  Maybe he will find some room in that new Samsonite luggage of his for the 4 ft stuffed alligator he loves so much.

My purging has not stopped with the toy room.  For the better part of a day I spent my time sweating over the stuff of my laundry room all the while thinking of stuff I could be putting in this place instead.  Food storage instead of leaky air mattresses.  New camping gear instead of outgrown snow boots.  I even got rid of all the unmatched solo mittens.  I tell ya, nothing (almost) feels better than getting rid of unused items just taking up space.  To me it even beats bringing home something new.  So now I have several trash bags taking up space just waiting to be donated.  My husband may have to help me load up the van on his next day off.  I'm used to moving every 3-4 years with the military, which forces one to do this sort of thing.  It looks as if we are here for a while though so I need to force-purge.

So all this getting rid of stuff comes before the Christmas Holiday where we will accumulate more stuff to fill those empty spaces, but I am figuring something out this year, something new.  When I see the things that go unused (some of which are gifts from last year still unopened!)  I tell myself to slow down and be more thoughtful about what I get.  We don't really need stuff do we?  What we really need is more time together.  Time to enjoy one another.  Experiences mean more to me than things.  So this year as I wade through the stuff of Christmas pasts, I am hoping to make my gifts more thoughtful and meaningful and less.  Just less stuff.  Even the stocking stuffers I am purchasing with more sense of purpose.  Maybe nobody will notice my emphasis this year.  Maybe by the 24th it will end up being the same overload of things.  Still I feel like this purging has given me a bit of perspective.  It's like the Grinch learned on Christmas morning... that Christmas doesn't come from a store.

Merry Christmas to you!  Hope you don't get too much this year : )

Long Time No Blog

Hi Blog!
I will tell you a reason I have been a blog-slacker lately.  My Silver Bullet died.  The Silver Bullet was my laptop that sat at the kitchen table and it was old.  Silver Bullet was a misnomer because it was the slowest of our 3 computers.  It was silver though... sigh, I will miss her.  She was the most accessible being in the kitchen and since she was old I didn't bother worrying about eating while serving the web on her.  The cord tripped me and bent so badly coming out of the S. Bullet that it is not repairable.  Since the computer was on it's last legs anyways, it's probably best just to let her rest in peace.  I miss her though.  The playroom is just too far away to go to unless there is something I really need to do.  The other computer has an uncomfortable stool you sit on in a cramped space and makes me feel icky when I sit at it for too long.  This is where I sit now and my lower back begs for me to quit.  Let's hope Santa is generous this year and I get a replacement.  One can't be too hopeful though since I did get the newest iphone for my birthday last month.  It's pretty much replaced Silver Bullet and then some.  Love that Siri feature!!

Anyhow, I am blogging tonight about my Christmas preparations.... boring?  Maybe but I thought it worth mentioning that I have a son (Little Boy) who is so quirky and he is asking for some crazy stuff from me this year.  He is 12 and a 7th grader this year- so keep that in mind.  Most kids grow out of the 'toy' stage and want video games or clothes or phones, etc.  He has asked me for a mini fridge.  Yes- it's true, a mini fridge.  Maybe that isn't so out there because what kid wouldn't want cold soda in their room?  He's not getting a mini fridge.  Nor does he get a lot of soda.  I just think it's odd that he thinks he has a chance at one.  He knows how I feel about eating outside of the kitchen.  This doesn't mean he follows this rule, but he knows.  The other thing he has asked for is a U-shaped travel pillow.  The kind you use to take a nap when flying somewhere.  He is by no means a frequent flyer.  I have no idea why he wants this.  He then added another item to his wish list today.  The boy wants a stop watch.  "The circular kind they use in the movies that you hang on a chain" I am beginning to think he might be an old man, possibly the man from the game Monopoly...  Next he will be asking for a top hat and a monocle.

The other observation I have is my 4 yr old seems to have a keen eye for what people may want/need for Christmas gifts.  I believe she may have inherited this from me!  No lie- I am an observer and take note when people express an interest in something.... and then I give it to them!  Doesn't that make you want me for a friend?  Well the reason I think she also has my gift is that when I asked her what she thought Grandpa T would like for Christmas she stated that Grandpa would like marbles.  When I asked why she said "he collects them."  Then I remembered our visit there in October when Grandma T got out a box of marbles that she told us where Grandpas when he was a boy.  I then asked what she thought I should buy for her Father and she said pajama tops because he only has the bottoms.  Know what?  She is exactly right on that!  My husband prefers his undershirt to pajama tops.  She must be a super observer like her older brother Middle Boy....  (who's name she happened to pick for Secret Santa and she wants to replace his deceased hamster with a new one. So thoughtful!)

Well, I think I need a back massage now as this stool is killing me-this writing spot is not my happy place.

Here's hoping that your holiday shopping is going as well as possible!!  If you need any tips just let Little Girl know, she has all the answers.

Blogging instead of Brining

I got up early to brine the Turkey.  I am now distracted by the internet, and I'm thinking I may have missed the brining boat anyways.  As I recall it didn't make a huge difference last year so I am not going to cry big salty tears over it.  Although, now that I think about it... huge salty kosher tears may help tender my bird a bit.  Perhaps I should think of something sad while giving him his sink bath and paper towel pat down.  It wouldn't take much to make me cry as I am a crier by nature.  I cry these days when thinking about my poor suffering brother.  I cry over a misunderstanding I have recently had with someone, I cry while listening to This American Life, I cry when I think about my oldest leaving the nest.  Well... for that last one maybe I just get misty.  He can still be a teenager you know.

But on this Thanksgiving morning I should not be thinking about sad things.  I should be focusing on what I have to be thankful for.  For I truly believe that when you are down, all you need to do is make a list of what is good in your life and things will start to look up.  It's a tried and tested theory in my life.  And giving thanks IS my love language after all.  So here goes!

Lately I have been thankful for my body.  I know- weird right?  But as I progress in years I look at my mortality a bit more and think about what I can do to make this vehicle last for the long haul and not have it get in my way by slowing me down with problems.  So for totally selfish reasons I have started working out with more regularity.  I've stopped making excuses like "my bed is too comfy this morning" and I have been walking with some friends (about 3 miles) each morning.  I tried running but my body just isn't there yet.  I get ankle and foot pain that tells me to stop.  And yes, I have good shoes.  I have also been taking an intense 'cage fitness' class on Tuesdays.  I like telling people that "I am training to be a cage fighter" and then I watch for signs of a Napoleon Dynamite fan.  It's a good litmus test for coolness.  So the fun part has been seeing myself progress.  It has been good and I am proud of myself.  I have now lost 10 lbs due to this and eating better.  So I can say that I am thankful for my body this Thanksgiving.  Then I can eat with careless abandon and feel sick afterwards!  (Seriously- I tried eating pizza and fries the other day for my birthday and I about vomited afterwards.  I think my body was rebelling..... what's up with that?!)

I am thankful for the Gospel in my life.  I look around at the things of the world and all it's madness and I am so grateful for the guidance I have.  I am so glad I was raised the way I was -in a religious home.  For things that just come naturally to me, like eating meals together, spending time together as a family, praying and reading scriptures as a family.  Those things have made a huge difference in my life and I hope to pass it on.  My church means everything to me.

I am thankful (every day) that we have enough money.  Things have been tight in the past and I am grateful for those times too and for the lessons that struggle brings.  This year, however, I am thankful for the abundance we have been blessed with.  All those years in school and residency were worth it.  Now don't get crazy thinking we are rich.  We aren't.  But I am thankful we can give our children braces and music lessons with out sweating it too much.  Now I am thinking we need to pay it forward and bless someone else.  What a better way to show gratitude than to help someone else?

Well now it's almost 8:00 am and I'm thinking it's time to roast the mushrooms for the stuffing.  Can't miss that boat! (the mushroom boat- ha!)  Here's to hoping that Big Boy won't even notice them in the mix.

Happy Thanksgiving to my bloggy friends!!!

Samsonite vs Superman

This year for Christmas I am fully expecting my oldest son to be disappointed.  The reason being that he will be getting no fun stuff for the holidays.  We need to outfit this baby bird for leaving the nest soon and that means getting things like bedding for a dorm room, a plastic trash can, a cheap full-length mirror, a year supply of Ramen, possibly a laptop, and his own luggage.

I recently found a good deal on some Samsonite luggage, so I bought him two suitcases online.  When the packages arrived outside my door I wondered where I could hide such big boxes until December 25th.  I decided to shelf them in the garage and hoped that all the other clutter would camouflage the existence of my practical surprise.  I tried turning the box so that the word 'Samsonite' would not be so obvious.  Unfortunately the advertising appears on more than one side of the box.  I knew that my oldest would be none the wiser.  However, my second child has super observation powers, and I mentioned to my husband that it would probably take less than 3 hours before he would start questioning us.  I think I was pretty much dead on.  Middle Boy asked my husband in the car "what does Samsonite stand for?"  My husband said "I'm pretty sure that's something your mother wants to be kept a secret- but I am also sure it won't take you long to figure it out..." The challenge was on.

A few days later my sweetheart and I  had a small getaway opportunity thanks to a visiting sister.  We had to get our luggage out from under the stairs. As soon as the brand on our luggage was noticed by our 2nd son we heard him moan "So that's what's in the boxes!  I was hoping for something more fun than that!"  Sorry to disappoint.  Also sorry to say that they are not for him.  This time the word Samsonite was brought up again in the company of my 12 yr old boy (Little Boy).  He walked in totally unaware (as is his norm) and spoke up with the statement "Isn't Samsonite the thing that weakens Superman?"  We all had a good laugh at that one.

Big Boy is still clueless about what is inside those mystery boxes in plain sight.  Let's hope it stays that way for a bit longer.  If only my nemesis can keep his big mouth shut.