October 27, 2010

Adapting

The other morning as we were sitting down to our usual breakfast of chaos, a battle ensued over who got to do the maze on the back of the KIX cereal box.  Of course no one could share and just do it mentally in their heads.  Little Girl, (age 3) really set the example for us all when she announced that she would just be "reading the bag" to keep herself entertained.  We did, after all, have one neglected bag of cereal outside of it's bulk-sized box on the table.  The 2nd half of a Sam's-club-sized box of LIFE kept her happily enthralled.  I almost thought to ask her what she might be reading in the folds of plastic.  I might have gotten an interesting answer.

The point is she was adapting to her environment and taking what comes.  Happily being content.  I can learn something from her there I think.

As we have been making serious decisions about the future of our family I have been stressed out to the point of not being capable of driving.  After the 3rd distracted wrong turn I turned the wheel over to my husband the other day.  What I think I need to remember is after all the moves and changes we have been through in the past 18 years of marriage we have always been taken care of.   We've always adapted. Even if we didn't speak the language or like the kimchi.  We need to not take counsel from our fears and trust that we can adapt to anything.  With God's help.

On the flip side I am trying to be sensitive to my teenagers who have settled in nicely where we are and should not have to keep moving during this trying time in their lives.  My second son in particular has a tendency to be in a funk.  This boy, who as a 6 yr old was awarded "best behaved boy" in his after-school chess club, isn't really that same upbeat unruffled kid today.  Just ask him to practice his music and his dark side comes out to stay for a while.  In fact I think I am guilty of tip toeing around his possible mood-swings at times.  I do things to keep him happy that I probably wouldn't do for the others.  I am probably doing him a disservice in the end.  I am not a perfect parent.  I recognize it at least.  However I challenge any parent of multiple children to make an honest claim that they treat one and all exactly the same.  No two kids are the same, making it impossible.

So you adapt.

5 comments:

Tom said...

I wish I had the answers about how to raise kids. The more I have, the more I learn that they are all so different from each other and you have to adjust around the personality and needs of each child. What works for one may not work for the others. I agree with you about adapting.

danyl said...

yeah, i guess you have to, but sometimes adapting SUCKS! i want the world to bend and fold to adapt to me! not all the time, but sometimes. is that too much to ask? i know, i know. yeah, its probably too much ask. sigh.

Kristina P. said...

Adapting is difficult, but necessary. I have found I have to do that with my job, recently.

Jess, Andrew and Family said...

I loved this post- very sweetly written. Good luck with your decision- I'm sure you will make the right one.

PS- I miss the freezer group :(

M-Cat said...

Adapt is the absolute right word! With three boys - not one of them alike, we did treat them differently. Not in allowing a different set of rules, but in how we dealt with each child and their approach to the rules.

It's hard being a parent. And usually the rewards come slowly and not after a lot of heartache.

Keep up the great job!