When my husband of one year and I decided to start our family I knew just how it would be. We wanted a large family, so my plan was to have a girl first to help out with babysitting, laundry, etc. She would possess the general nurturing nature that comes with the female sex. She'd make my job as a mother of many so much easier.
So when at the ultrasound appointment we discovered we were to have a boy first, I think I mentally cut the number of children I would be planning on having down by a couple.
Not to worry, we'd be getting a girl next time. I faithfully got pregnant within the two year mark.
We lost that one.
Pregnant once again I prayed for a girl harder than before. By now I had seen many girls at the park playing quietly in a corner of the sandbox, behaving reverently at church and always staying clean. At play groups I had sadly noticed that the mothers of young boys were looking much more frazzled. The activity level of boys was generally through the roof. The physical demand on the parents was too much. Mothers with girls would say things to make us feel better like "Oh but she is so sensitive and she whines all the time" We mothers of boys weren't buying it. "Yeah- that's so tough for you." I'd say while trying to tear my 3 year old off the jungle gym to then wrestle him into his car seat and head home so I could have a nap.
So, you've seen my side bar. Boy number two came along and he was so beautiful that people mockingly told me what a cute little girl I had all the time. Nice.
With pregnancy #3 (almost four years later btw- I was losing my faith by this time). I was sure God would reward me with a girl for not whining about being surprisingly pregnant again.
I wasn't sure if I could handle the news at the ultrasound appointment. The plan was that the technician was to write down his assessment on a slip of paper to be opened at a later date when I was feeling more prepared. Well, T couldn't turn away from the screen and he saw the results. Here is how he broke the news to me.
#1 Got me some frozen chocolate yogurt from the cafeteria just downstairs.
#2 Told me it was good news and that I would be happy.
#3 Revealed the truth of testosterone.
#4 Watched me cry like a baby for 20 minutes in public.
Yet when Little Boy came, and I saw that crazy looking kid with red fuzzy hair, my heart fell for him so hard. With my newfound tiger mother's love, I suddenly knew God's plan was better than my own. "So this is who was meant to be here. You are more than welcome to stay." Remembering my reaction in the hospital cafeteria 4 months earlier, I felt so stupid.
So as you know I got my girls at the end, and I am here to eat my words of yesterday and say that they are sensitive and whiney after all. But I love having them here. One thing bugs me though, I thought having girls would mean that suddenly I'd have great helpers. Not SO! Why today when I asked Big Girl to do something for the 3rd time and she sighed and told me "Okay! But this is the last thing I am doing for you today!" (she often says this). I told her of my long lost wish to one day have a girl in the family who could help me like the boys never did and her reply had me laughing out loud. She said quick as anything "your wish isn't over, you still have Baby Girl."
A small part of me is proud of her smart alek remark.