I had a fitful night's sleep last night. It could have resulted from the fitful events of the day. You try shopping for church shoes with two boys who don't want to be with you (walking several paces behind). Actually Little Boy was most cooperative. He chose his shoes in 2 seconds flat-and more importantly he was grateful. Big Boy= another story altogether. But since he has asked a girl from church to our Mormon Prom he has dug himself this hole and it's up to me to struggle through the wardrobe options with him. Oh joy.
The dream I woke up crying to this morning involved me trying to find space in the freezer to put some melting chocolate in before it was too late to save. Try as I might I just couldn't balance everything (a symbol for my life maybe?) that was in there and make room for my chocolate. Then I noticed something horrifying in the freezer. Blood in the ice cubes. Deep dark brownish bloody cubes. I wasn't sure if someone had been making blood cubes or if some meat had thawed out during a power outage and had bled all over the ice. It was disgusting. Then my thoughts (still in my dream) turned darker. What if there was some foul play to blame for this blood? Who would kill something in my home? And then freeze the evidence! Then the scarier thought... What if it was me who'd done the deed and I had just blocked it from memory? Had I killed my teenager? Things had been bad lately but just how bad were they? Big Boy (in real life) has a tendency to put odd things in the freezer. He likes to experiment. 'What happens when things freeze' being a common unknown he likes to solve. Things I have found in the freezer? Gum, jello, silly putty, gummy worms, etc. So maybe my unconscious took this freezer situation to the next level. Luckily T woke me up before I found my teenager's head in there.
I guess it was promising that my emotion was sadness. I do believe the sadness wasn't about the fact that I would now have to clean out the freezer. It was sadness that I would now be without my son. The question for this morning is this: Do I share this nightmare with Big Boy? Would it bring us closer? Or would he be watching his back all day? Dreams are weird. Any of you want to interpret my dream?
Or how about T's? He dreamt about a business man coming home from work and sitting up in the attic with his pants around his knees, eating nuts and gazing at the stars from his telescope. When the man's wife approached my husband and asked if her spouse up there doing those things, T covered for him and said "nope."