January 24, 2009
About turning 40
Well I am finally deciding to open up about my age here on the blog. I am now 40 (as of 11-11 actually). I recall when my oldest sister was turning forty some 17 years ago and there was a get together at Chi Chi's in Provo to celebrate the big 4-Oh. We were starving students at the time and my husband told me we couldn't afford to go, thus starting our whole 'Lucy/Ricky' stereotype relationship when it comes to money. My other sister kept rubbing it in Paula's face saying "Your now the big 4-Oh! What are you going to do now?" At my tender age of 23 I did think that 40 was older than dirt. Now I look back on my former self and think I was so naive. Forty is not old. It's seasoned. I would much rather talk to a 40 year old than a 23 year old. They have so much more to say that is of substance.
Certainly the big 4-Oh is a huge milestone. And maybe I should be more self-conscious. Maybe when putting my age on Christmas cards along with the rest of the kids I should put 'timeless.' Maybe I should say "I am 29 and holding" like my mother used to say. But secretly I like being 40. It's like saying "I'm a big kid now!" to the world. I especially love it when people can't believe that is my age. Yummy! When we lived in Korea there were lots of them who were amazed with me when they saw that my oldest child was 13 (at the time). Probably because they wait until their is a career in place and a home bought before considering children. So no one at my age would have a child that old. It made me seem super well preserved. And the Koreans never mince words (for bad or good mind you), about how they feel about your appearance. It was so nice for my ego having them praise me all the time. They probably thought I was about 50 though. So maybe that's not saying much. As a side note I never felt the judgement from the Koreans about having 5 children like I do sometimes from Americans. They cherish children and think you are a goddess if you are that brave, rich, and fertile. "Oh you hab five chillun? You husband maka lots money eh?" They don't have large families because they think they can't afford them or put enough time into more than 2, but they worship those who choose to brave having a large brood. It's an interesting cultural difference.
Anyhow, back to me and being 40. I have decided that there are some blessings to having zits as a teenager. Not too many wrinkles as a 40 year old! Yeah! That ought to come in handy when my husband starts wrinkling up early. (He is 8 months younger btw-ouch). He's never in his lifetime had more than one pimple at a time. It's enough to make you sick. Ironically, I found my first grey hair on my 27th birthday while investigating a pimple in the bathroom mirror. Sigh! I have had the occasional stray gray hair at the rate of about 2 a year ever since. Until the last several months when T has been deployed- I swear I have had more greys pop up in the last 3 months than in the last 3 years. Mind you it's still not a lot, but I think that is something worth thinking about. Worry & stress contributing to age. However I have made a conscious decision not to pluck them this year. It's not that I am embracing the grey, I'm not to that point yet. It's more that I am worried about hair loss. Noticing my now 54 year old sister and her thinning hair has me worried. I have, just this year, started parting my hair on the other side, where I am less thin on top. Rotating the tires on my head so to speak. Sadly this isn't the type of thin I hoped to gain in my forties. I guess it could be worse. But I am hanging on to all my hairs brown or grey or is it gray? I hate spelling! I am losing my mind as well! And to help things from going south I am also wearing a bra 24-7. Just thought you'd like to know...