November 14, 2008

My Brave Man

I just got through chatting online with this handsome man in uniform. For the first time ever we were able to get the video up and running. This would be a day when I did not do my hair and make up. He said he still loved seeing me though, so I guess it's okay. I was worried because I had been sneaking onto his personal email account and heard that he had been 'outside the wire' being available as a medic in case they needed him while the troops were clearing some land. While he gets to stay inside the protected vehicle, this hardly calms me. I had not thought he would be subjected to this kind of danger. As it happened I also heard reports of injuries and bombings just last night on the radio as well. So this has been my first official scary frazzled day. I know he had not wanted me to be aware of these circumstances, and this makes me even more upset. I now will worry about what he isn't telling me. I just need to stay focused on the feeling of peace I received upon first hearing the news of his deployment. Occasionally I still feel these promptings that all will be well, and I am grateful for them. Yet one can't help but wonder if 'all will be well' would also include 'well in spite of tragic events.' Why do I doubt all the time? Why am I so human? It's a good thing the kids keep me busy day and night or I would have more time to dwell on these troublesome things. Troy says that he is being sustained by the spirit. Even though he is surrounded by corruptness in the actions of the men surrounding him. If F-bombs were really bombs he would be a dead man for sure he says. He is a good egg. I pray he will be safe.

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