Where is this blog going?

Ever since my husband deployed to Iraq last October I have built a closer relationship with my blog.  It has become a place for me to go everyday and write about my feelings.  Good and bad.  A place where I can complete something and feel good about it.  How often does a stay at home mother of 5 get to do that?  Not often enough I am telling ya.  My husband, who is always more safety conscious than I am constantly reminds me that you never know who is lurking on your blog and to be careful what you write.  I am less worried.  I think most people out there are harmless and have good intentions.  I wanted more followers.  I would pick one up here and there and feel really cool.  I even created one for my husband so he could comment thinking that my comments would pick up.  No go.  He reads but feels that if he wants to say something to me about what I wrote, he will just, I don't know- say it.  To my face.  Or in our case these days on the phone when he calls me each day.  He is not into the public display of anything.  So you can imagine how much he loved me posting his love letters on my blog.  Not so much.

One day I lost a follower due to some glitch in the system.  I thought I had offended in some way.  I removed myself from his blog.  (Childish).  He instantly commented that he didn't stop following.  (Whoops).  I added myself back again.  Why is it that we bloggers care so much about our blogs and our followers, and our comments.  Why?  Oh why?  I guess I want validation that I am not a rambling idiot of sorts.  (This post isn't helping).

Then I stumbled on a popular blogger the other day who mentioned that she had only been blogging for 2 months.  Her blog has a huge following and I thought to my self.  Wow- she must be some sort bloggy genius.  I commented and asked her what her secret was.  She admitted to spending a lot of time on it in the beginning and to joining up with groups like blog stalkers.  She also leaves between 20-30 comments a day.  I am seriously not going to do that.  No time!  Also part of me wants followers but only the nice kind.  Better still if I actually know them.  An acquaintance of mine recently had to shut down her blog due to an actual stalker of sorts.  For the safety of her kids she got rid of the blog.  Another friend went private due to similar problems.  You don't always want to be so popular.  

So I have come to terms with my 8 little followers (I personally know all but one).  I am happy to have 3-5 (sometimes zero) comments a day.  The blog is fulfilling it's duty for now.  I will not pursue a large crowd following my blog.  It was something I thought would be cool 2 days ago though, and I totally understand the desire behind it.  I just don't want to get to the point where I feel I have put my kids at risk.  And I just can't devote that kind of time to it like some of the pros.  I will continue reading/lurking though, and enjoying all that bloggy love out there to be had.  And please- if you are not a nice person, go lurk elsewhere.