Fixed

I have a handy dandy way to fix things around here.  It's called out of sight out of mind.  I actually learned this method from a childhood friend named Traci.  We were driving around as teenagers in her new clunker car bought for her by her Dad.  It had some interesting noises.  So to hide/fix these noises we'd just turn up her radio super loud!  Problem solved.  We also used to turn the heat way up in the winter but also leave the windows down to balance out the extreme heat.  That was her idea, not mine. Seemed kind of wasteful to me.  Anyways....

Some fixes I have come up with are as follows:

1-We had a hand-me-down console TV when we were newlyweds.  It was once a very nice television.  It was incased in wood and was larger than our chest of drawers.  The problem was the light sensor thing was on the fritz.  There were these large blueish green shadows behind everyone when you'd watch during the daylight hours.  At night it was fine.  So I noticed that by putting something over the sensor that it made the shadows disappear.  Taping a piece of black electrical tape over the sensor made things just fine!  We later sold that TV for 300.00 at a yard sale.  The Mexicans were outbidding each other for it. We tried to explain the defects.  Not sure if they understood though.  They were just impressed by it's size I am sure.

2-One time when we bought a house with an ancient intercom system that not only didn't work but was quite hideous.  I took the thing out of the wall and instead of dry-walling the hole over again, we just hung a large painting of fruit over it.

3-We currently have weeds growing along the fence in our back yard that we are calling ground cover.  The leaves are heart shaped and there are purple flowers in them.  I know they are probably weeds, but I'm going with annuals. 

4-We also have a race-track that Santa brought that is busted.  Some friends came over and messed around with it a bit too much and the loops are no longer staying put.  So we took the loops out, hid them in a closet and viola!  track without loops-still works fine.

So what are the quick fix solutions at your house?

Getting My Girl

When my husband of one year and I decided to start our family I knew just how it would be. We wanted a large family, so my plan was to have a girl first to help out with babysitting, laundry, etc.  She would possess the general nurturing nature that comes with the female sex.  She'd make my job as a mother of many so much easier.

So when at the ultrasound appointment we discovered we were to have a boy first, I think I mentally cut the number of children I would be planning on having down by a couple.  

Not to worry, we'd be getting a girl next time.  I faithfully got pregnant within the two year mark. 

We lost that one. 

Pregnant once again I prayed for a girl harder than before.  By now I had seen many girls at the park playing quietly in a corner of the sandbox, behaving reverently at church and always staying clean.  At play groups I had sadly noticed that the mothers of young boys were looking much more frazzled.  The activity level of boys was generally through the roof.  The physical demand on the parents was too much.  Mothers with girls would say things to make us feel better like "Oh but she is so sensitive and she whines all the time"  We mothers of boys weren't buying it.  "Yeah- that's so tough for you."  I'd say while trying to tear my 3 year old off the jungle gym to then wrestle him into his car seat and head home so I could have a nap.

So, you've seen my side bar.  Boy number two came along and he was so beautiful that people mockingly told me what a cute little girl I had all the time.  Nice.

With pregnancy #3 (almost four years later btw- I was losing my faith by this time).  I was sure God would reward me with a girl for not whining about being surprisingly pregnant again.

I wasn't sure if I could handle the news at the ultrasound appointment.  The plan was that the technician was to write down his assessment on a slip of paper to be opened at a later date when I was feeling more prepared.  Well, T couldn't turn away from the screen and he saw the results.  Here is how he broke the news to me.

#1 Got me some frozen chocolate yogurt from the cafeteria just downstairs.

#2 Told me it was good news and that I would be happy.

#3 Revealed the truth of testosterone. 

#4 Watched me cry like a baby for 20 minutes in public.

Yet when Little Boy came, and I saw that crazy looking kid with red fuzzy hair, my heart fell for him so hard. With my newfound tiger mother's love, I suddenly knew God's plan was better than my own.  "So this is who was meant to be here.  You are more than welcome to stay."  Remembering my reaction in the hospital cafeteria 4 months earlier, I felt so stupid.

So as you know I got my girls at the end, and I am here to eat my words of yesterday and say that they are sensitive and whiney after all.  But I love having them here.  One thing bugs me though, I thought having girls would mean that suddenly I'd have great helpers.  Not SO!  Why today when I asked Big Girl to do something for the 3rd time and she sighed and told me "Okay!  But this is the last thing I am doing for you today!"  (she often says this).  I told her of my long lost wish to one day have a girl in the family who could help me like the boys never did and her reply had me laughing out loud.  She said quick as anything "your wish isn't over, you still have Baby Girl." 

A small part of me is proud of her smart alek remark.  

Getting Stronger

Many things have motivated me to exercise more lately.  My husband is in the best shape of his life right now.  One of my younger sisters has recently lost significant amounts of weight and it has been inspiring to watch. When, on vacation, we hiked to Timpanogas caves, I was more than a bit winded.  I kept blaming it on the altitude but being in better shape would have helped.  My spouse didn't even break a sweat.  My kids that went did just fine.  I was embarrassed!  

Joining a gym is expensive and who knows if I will actually use it.  I am not quite ready for that commitment.  I have joined a gym before and in my experience when one goes out of guilt over the money being spent it doesn't work out.  I still remember with great shame the conversation with management when I closed my account.  There was this checklist of questions for them to ask me before "letting me out of my contract" 

(?!)

 

How would you rate the equipment in our facility?  What is your reason for closing your membership with us today?  What is your planned exercise regimen in your future?  That question was going a bit too far!  Why is it your business nosey pants?!  I mean nosey spandex!? (was what I wanted to say).  Then I signed away my membership ATA (against trainers advise) never to return and hardly to work out on my own ever again.  That was about 8 years ago.  They may as well have asked me to rate the squishiness of my tummy after childbearing on a scale of 1-10.  That would have been right along the same level of embarrassment/harassment in my opinion.

But like I said before, lately I have heard the quiet stirrings of motivation to get into better shape creeping up on me.  Something my older sister Marie said has struck me.  She is about 10 years my senior, and she said that of all her friends in her age group, the ones who have not spent time exercising all have serious health issues.  However the ones who do work out with regularity are all enjoying healthy strong bodies still in their fifties.  Now that is a nice warning for me at a timely time!  

So I have dusted off my yoga tapes and ordered the right equipment.  I have walked the dog a bit longer, and used the stairs over the elevator.  Parking farther away, etc.  Eating healthier is something I had been trying to do previously.  More vegetables and less meat.  Easy!  Sweets are a hard habit to break and I am not there yet but cutting back slowly is my plan.  You try making your husband a lemon meringue pie for Father's day and then spending the day home alone with it taunting you all day.  I managed to save him a large slice and he had the gaul to eat 2/3rds of it and force the last on me.  He is too good.  And too skinny!  

The point is, and I do have one- is that over the past few months I have been working out on average about 3 times a week.  Working out with sweat involved even!  Getting up before kids do and showering after (cause of the sweat and all).  And here's what I am now getting to.  I am able to do more than before (I know....ground-breaking!) I can now do all those push ups that Karen Voight asks me to.  I was too much of a wimp to do half of what she asked in the beginning.  This is totally new to me!  So awesome also is the fact that when I go to Hershey Park with my family I can feel energized the entire day and drive 2 hours home without pooping out!~ Amazing I tell ya!  I went sight seeing to the outdoor DC memorials with my brother and his kids and all the walking and walking didn't make me sore the next day.  Den walker all day yesterday?  Not a problem.  Am I skinny again like my teenaged years?  No.  But getting stronger is a nice motivation to keep on going.  However I will say that the toughest move in my entire workout routine is the one where I push snooze on my alarm clock.  Second only to the move where I push 'play' on the DVD machine.  Wish there were a better way....  Like eating thin mints.

What I've been up to...

You'd think that with summer we'd see some slowing down in the pace around here.  Not happened yet.  I have had the excitement of company.  My nearly perfect dentist brother is visiting from Orem with his five children.  It has been so great to have them here to hang out with my kids and invite us along on their vacation with them.  The DC area has so much to offer for all ages.  Come on over, we love visitors!

Then we needed to send 2 boys off to scout camp.  Things around here are a lot more quiet minus two teenaged boys.  Yet there is still cub scout day camp to tend to.  Tomorrow is my day to be a 'den walker' and I just sent T to get ice for the cooler.  As the den walker it was suggested that I bring a wagon and cooler to tote our lunches around in.  Have no wagon, but will bring cooler.  I was shocked when my 10 year old came home today (the first day of day camp), with a rat's skull tied around his neck as some sort of evil accessory. 

"What's that?!"  I asked daring to touch.

"A rat's skull... It was found after an owl had digested it and threw up the bones"

"Oh"  I said wishing I hadn't touched it... He assured me that they were clean rat skulls, so that's always good.

 

Those scout leaders really know how to hook a kid and reel him in!  I wonder what treasures I am in for tomorrow?!

I can't help but ask myself just how well can one clean a regurgitated rat skull?

A Trek

Our oldest son is now old enough to go on a youth outing called Pioneer Trek.  It's a weekend activity where they dress up as our Mormon pioneer ancestors and do a simulated pilgrimage.  They split up into 'families' push hand-carts, go without food (for a brief period of time), cook over campfires, etc.  Enticing no?  

A pre-requisite 'trek walk' was required in Sligo Creek Park.  We decided to make it a family affair.  Including Abby our dog.  (real name used for the dog- don't you doggie sickos out there come find her, she is cute but she is an alpha female and she will take you down!)

T looked like an ad for runner's magazine someone told him.

I looked pretty much like myself... sigh (must.. do.. more.. yoga).

Big and Little Girl had a nice leisurely ride in the Trek 'go-bug' as it's called.  

We need to put this baby to more use!  I can hook it up to my bike even.  I think I can count on one hand how many times this has happened since we bought this baby though.  It's only 18 months old, and the tire was flat for 6 months of that time and then there was a winter in there, and a husband was deployed and couldn't fix the tire, etc, etc.  I think that number of excuses ought to last me a while... This next year will be the year of things like biking and walking and running as a family.  Taking excursions like this one.  It was so calm and peaceful on that trail.  

That could have been because the 3 boys and Abby ran ahead on the trail though... hmm....

Well after a bit, Big Girl wanted to get out, so we gave her a camera to keep her happy and we got some great photos from her.  Want to see what she found photo worthy?  

Then we saw this lovely crane.  At least I think it's lovely, you may want to ask another crane for a 2nd opinion.  

All in all, it was a nice outdoor trek to take our outdoor Trek on, in preparation for Big Boy's upcoming Pioneer Trek.  BTW, seen the new Star Trek movie that's out right now?  It's awesome!  Especially for all you Trekkies out there.  

Live long and prosper!

Check Mate!

Check this out, mate... (ha ha). My favorite part is the british accent and the background music.

I am so glad we taught him how to play chess so that he can be a well rounded, culturally developed young man. A real brain child, ya know? Look out Bobby Fisher! Hey, where is that guy anyways?

And now for your viewing pleasure a special feature/gag reel edition of Check Mate!

Best Field Trip Ever

I recently had the extreme privilege to attend the National Art Museum with Big Girl's kindergarten class.  I love art!  I have been trying to get there for months and when this chance came up I was first in line.  There wasn't enough time to see much.  But what we did see was fabulous.  Even this!  

In it's own weird way of coarse.

I came well prepared with gum, a book, and my ipod to entertain my girls on the bus ride.  Too bad they don't make headphones that split 3 ways.  The girl without a turn was always a bit blue.  Speaking of blue... check out this red and blue mobile that was over 70 feet long by Alexander Calder.  The kids really enjoyed his sculptures too.  I snapped this shot just before the guard told me no photography allowed.  So it's contraband pictures on the blog.

When we were riding back to the school on the bus I asked my daughter what her favorite piece of artwork was.  Not surprisingly it was the tunnel of lights we went through 5 times while waiting for the rest of the class to appear for lunchtime in the cafeteria.

Yes, everyone has their own idea of artwork.  

I would go back again and again!!!

Museum Shooting

Yesterday an 88 year old man killed a guard at the Holocost museum here in downtown DC.  I have family coming to visit me in the area for 2 weeks with their 5 children.  I'm thinking we may be spending more time around our neighborhood pool... Or maybe we can look at the bright side of the crowds being less in town.

My girlfriend called me yesterday evening and we chatted about the news.  We recalled all the local catastrophes we have lived through in this area.  Starting with 911 and the Pentagon crashes.  She was the friend who I called and said "turn on your television now!"  We both were in shock.  We both ran to our little elementary school down the street to retrieve our children.  The line to sign them out that day went almost outside the school.  Everyone just staring blankly into other mother's eyes thinking what this might mean for all of us.

Then we went through the DC area sniper shootings together. That sniper time was haunting. I was expecting Big Girl, (a larger target-yikes!).  I felt fear for my life every time I went out.  I remember hiding in between gas pumps while fueling up the van, scanning the area for the illusive 'white van' that everyone thought was the culprit's vehicle.  I called and reported a neighbor who had a similar van as a possible suspect just to be safe.  It was crazy!  He just owned a lawn care business.  He wasn't the sniper.  It was a panicky time.  I was sorta bothered that none of my family called with concern for me.  It's like- if it isn't happening in their own back yard, it wasn't relevant.  I'm over it now I guess...  But the take-away lesson here is to show concern for someone other than yourself.  They will remember it.

In Korea we felt threatened by the North Koreans with their missile launch into the Sea of Japan.  The quarterly drills the military would put the dependents through were somewhat daunting.  NEO exercises, they were called.  Non-combatant Evacuation Operation. You had this folder with all your important papers in it and you went through a series of stations making sure you had everything in order.  I remember asking one of the soldiers the stupid question of "why my husband never has to do these exercises."  He just looked at me like I was the stupidest military wife on the planet (possibly true).  "Because he is a combatant ma'am" was his answer.  I put 2 and 2 together and realized he'd be off shooting bad guys while we got out of town.  That sucked for me.  Luckily all we had to do were pretend evacuations while we are over there.  Which reminds me, now that North Kroea is acting up again.  I should probably call my friend over there and let her know I am thinking about her.

It's a mad world.

Take Me Out

This is Little Boy's 3rd season of playing baseball.  He was a little firecracker the first year we threw him in there.  He was the kid that when his turn at bat came, the other coach yelled "outfielders, back way up!" That always made feel so glad and proud.  The 2nd year was much the same. "CRACK!" and off he'd run.   Fierce in the T-ball/coach-pitch phase of his baseball career.  Not so much now.  Blame it on the kids now being the pitchers (they stink!). Blame it on all our military moves and dealing with new teams and new systems (no weekly practices!? What's that about?). Blame it on the couple years he took off to play soccer.  Or as Milli Vanilli mouthed, you could 'blame it on the rain that was falling falling' all season long interrupting countless games.  I don't know, blame it on something.  Just don't blame my kid 'cause I'm sensitive.

I am probably sensitively recalling my days in elementary school as a non-athlete.  I was a delicate thing, who when rotation demanded that I take my turn serving the volleyball, the PE teacher told me I could take 2 giant steps forward.  Even then, I was lucky to get it over the net.  And MAN did that hard ball hurt my poor wittle wrists!  (said like Tweedy Bird please).

My husband, T, can't relate at all- he was a little league champ year after year and ended up in the 'All-Stars.'  He played in high school and was also on the swim team.  Oh how I'd hoped that my kids would inherit his talents.  I think they did actually, but what they didn't inherit was a father who is around a lot to teach them.  (Ouch!  I know, there's that blaming).  Sorry sweetie!  

I also feel that baseball is a pretty psychological game.  When they are at bat with all eyes on them, it doesn't matter that they can hit it every time in practice.  Their little nerves get the best of them.  It was the same thing with Middle Boy, his older brother.  He'd hit home runs in practice but the entire season he wouldn't even swing during a game.  What is up with that!?  Nothing we could say made any difference. 

I made a poor parenting decision this year.  I was so sure that my Little Boy, (based on years one and two mind you), would be loving it once things fell into place that I told him to let me sign him up and if he didn't like it he could quit.  Well- he doesn't like it and his Dad won't let him quit.  I don't exactly want him to be a quitter either, but each game is like torture!  What to say... what to not say.  He is a champion walker, but I just know he has it in him.  If we go play as a family he hits things right and left.  It's amazing.  

I will try my best in the future not to make promises I can't keep.  And to discuss them with my spouse.  Little Boy lets me know each time he has to put on the cleats that I told him he could quit.  I am still torn.  Parenting is also a phycological game, have you noticed?
We are now in the playoffs (single elimination) and last night got rained out so tonight's make-up game approaches and I have two places to be at one time and no husband at home.  Clouds are forming.... What to do?  The excellent team they are up against has beaten us once and the last game we played against them (which was the last game played) we pulled ahead at the end and won.  It should be exciting.  But is my boy excited?  Nope! The only thing that gets him through is the promise of a donut at the end of the game.  Now there is a boy after my own heart!

  

Changes since Iraq

Beautiful Sunset in Iraq

Soldiers talking to family at home

A Sheik packing some heat

A gentle reminder...

This morning T pointed out to me that it is our two month anniversary.  Two months since his return from Iraq.  He asked me how the adjustment was going...  Good question.  Some days are hard.  Most days are good.  His perspective?   "Feels like I never left"  Mine is a bit different.  I feel less adequate sometimes.  T came back in such good physical condition that it makes me self conscious.  

I am doing all the yoga I can stand, but I am still miles and miles behind him.  Okay- I could probably be doing more yoga, but there is always another need that comes up.  Like the kid who needs me to search for an umbrella, or write a check out for lunch money, or the blogs I check in the early morning that turn into 40 minutes of reading instead of 40 minutes of sweating.  Although my yoga poses are getting easier, my will to begin has gotten weaker.  Again-failure.  But what are ya gonna do?

Here are the things we notice in each other that are new since the deployment:

Kelly says T is more fit

Kelly says T is friendlier to people and goes out of his way to make nicey nicey.

Kelly thinks T looks great!

T says Kelly is more confident in her abilities.

T says Kelly is more patient

T says Kelly is more beautiful (needs a new glasses prescription or else this guy is blinded by his love!)

Change can be good I guess.

  

Big Pond

Big Pond...

Was I annoyed at the Vietnamese man who went and stood himself

directly in front of all of us at the kindergarten program?

He did make a better door than I window -tis true.

But no, I was not annoyed.

I was reminded.

Was I impatient with the elderly Chinese woman at JoAnn's Fabrics?  

She fussed away about "unmarked thread" making her total too high.

Did it annoy?

No.  Not at all.  I smiled.

I continued smiling as she counted her returned one dollar bills in frustration.  

"Too many!"

I was amused at her request for an envelope.

Tickled when she folded up a flyer to make one instead.

I was disturbed however,

With the body-pierced clerk

Who seemed impatient when she replied,

"Because it's not my job to post price-labels."

Disturbed because she doesn't have the perspective it takes,

To live in Hong Kong, Danang, or Seoul...

Or Washington DC for that matter.

What one sees as selfish behavior,

I see as a survival skill learned by the overpopulated culture.

It takes aggressive behavior to be a small fish in a big pond, 

With millions of other fish.

(I actually took this photo)

Summer Time Blues

"School's almost out you know" Big Girl announced today.

Reading over her part for Friday's 'play' confirmed the fact. It said, and I quote:

"Only 7 more days of school and the sun is shinning. Let's go climb a tree!"

What, is that panic I feel????

Could it be that I am worried that my sometimes frazzled weekend-self will be ever present from June 15th through Aug 27th? What am a going to do when my teenager is mouthy for too many hours in a row during the day? Or what about when the fighting begins, and never ends? How am I going to occupy their time? And mine? I need a silver lining here.

Think.... Think....Relatives are coming. There's one. I will have a babysitter at home during the day again... There's two!  Beach anyone?

Maybe I can get Big Girl into sewing with me. Then there's scout camp and lacrosse camp. The pool is just a walk away! Tomatoes are in the ground. Here come the BLTs, I can taste them now. We can sleep in, and go to matinees, eat frozen yogurt and gaze at the stars with Big Boy's telescope.  7 more days, and although it's raining, let's go climb a tree!

Our Newest Vehicle

One thing that was awaiting us upon our return from Utah was a very hefty vertical amount of lawn to mow.  The lawns here in Maryland never need watering.  During the peak of the growing season the lawns should really be mowed 2 times a week.  Since we had been gone for 6 days and it needed a bit of a trim before we left, it was a jungle when we returned.  I'm sure our neighbors were judging.

The problem is that when you return from a vacation there is always tons to do.  Unpack, do blimp sized loads of laundry, catch up on mail, email, and answering machine messages, smack your forehead with your hand a bunch of times in frustration, etc, etc.  So the lawn again takes a back seat for a day or so.  By the time we got back to it I was reminded of a slight accident that happened before our trip.  I was mowing on the slanted weird side of the lot and was distracted by my 6 year old trying to yell something unimportant to me and whilst I was yelling back at her to "get away from the mower while it's running!" Then I heard a very bad sound.  Like the chewing up of a bit stick I'd gone over.  

I'm not the most experienced lawn mower.  I had 5 brothers who took care of that for us.  We gal folks did our chores in the kitchen!  I now have a husband who usually does it, or 3 boys who can do a pretty amautre job that their Dad will patch up for them afterwards.  So when I heard the awful sound I knew it was probably my fault.  It turns out it was not a stick, it was the ripcord.  I don't know how I managed to get that stuck under the mower and in the way of the blades, but I am gonna blame it on #1 The slanted hill, #2 The distracting child and #3 Having so many brothers and sons rendering me pretty useless behind the mower.  So we tied it back together but only T can start it with his super power grip.  For the rest of us it just falls apart or won't start.  The mower was on it's last legs anyways.  So sadly we had to shell out 600.00 of my couch money on a new mower.  Have I mentioned that my walls are purple and my couch is maroon?  Plus it's 10 years old that couch!  Don't get me started!  

The new mower is a beauty, and of coarse she's a Honda!  However, there is one thing it won't do... It won't mow the lawn all by itself.  Now that would be a nice mower.

Tutelage

The other day I used the word tutelage.  I think it was in reference to one of my son's wanting to play a new sport.  "Lacrosse sounds like a fun sport for you to try but maybe a camp this summer would help before we join a team.  Things  may work better after some tutelage."  My 15 year old thought that was the funniest things he had ever heard... ever.  "Did you just use the word tutelage?!" he giggled.  "Yes" I said knowing it was probably just funny/unfamiliar sounding.  No.  That wasn't it.  Then I remembered an answering machine message from about 2 years ago that had a similar effect.  "Hello" the machine said "This is violin tudor Nile" (yes Nile was her name and her enrglish was not the best- it was while we lived in Seoul).  "I rill not be able to make our tudor session today, as I have appointment, cannot cancel."  Big Boy rolled on the ground for half an hour listening to this message over and over.  

Still wondering why he finds this pun so hilarious?

Maybe if I spell it out for you a different way: 

Tootelage....

Violin Tooter...

Or if I show you a graffiti image I found, after a member of our church pointed it out, outside our front door yesterday: (feel free to click and enlarge for full effect)

Now dear reader, your mind may wander to that 'potty place' and you will understand this type of humor.

I would like to put out a special thanks to Dav Pilkey author of Captain Underpants for planting those seeds of pre-pubescent boyhood dirty-mindedness.  You really got a good thing going there.  You started him into a love of reading that's for sure.  Now can you make him stop with the poop head drawings?  Got a book for that Mr Pilkey?

(actually I laughed just as hard at the violin tooter comment- I'm no prude, I just like keeping that sort of thing away from the churchy people who come to my door)

Porky Pig Spelling

When I was a young child I had an awakening to the fact that spelling was not my cup of tea.  My childhood friend Rosalie was the intellectual type who could often be found in a squatting position looking at bugs in the dirt.  Her twin Rachelle was the tomboy type who was the fastest girl on her big wheels in the neighborhood.  I was a bit more in touch with my faint feminine side, but we still all managed to play nice.  Rose would win our spelling bees with regularity.  When comparing my spelling skills to hers I felt like a dunce.  I could read like the wind, but spelled like a hillbilly.  I tried not to care, but I did.  I still do.  

Sadly I rely heavily on the spell check even to this day.  Interestingly enough when I come across writings with gross misspellings and grammatical errors I have a hard time reading on.  I guess I am a misspelling hypocrite.  Even though spelling does not come naturally to me, if I see as I am typing along on my computer that the word gets underlined indicating an error, I will try 2-3 times to get it right before giving up and looking the word up.  I want to learn from my mistakes!  I don't seem to improve much over time though.  If you aren't spelling everything right by the age of 40 I think you can pretty much consider yourself an old dog who can't learn new spelling tricks by now.  (Although I have to give myself props for just spelling 'consider' correctly on my own, that is a word that I naturally want to spell with two Cs).  Maybe it's not too late for me after all!  (Whoops, spoke too soon, I just tried to spell afterall without a space-duh!  What would Rose say to me?)  

One time when I had been writing to a friend on his mission he sent me a form letter of sorts that was supposed to be a joke asking questions like "What would you like our first date upon my return be?" and "Please put your lip prints in the space below" etc... The 4 page form was riddled with misspellings (this was before spellchecking-yes I am that old).  At my tender age of 19 I was not even able to recognize them, but my friend Rose had a hay-day with her red pen correcting all the mistakes.  We sarcastically answered all the questions and returned the form. Let's just say he was not amused.  Strangely he still took me out when he returned.  It didn't go far though. (Thankfully!)

I have to compare one of my spelling defenses to my old pal Porky Pig.  You know how when Porky gets into one of his stuttering fits he starts off with one word and when he can't get it out instead of pursuing that word any longer he just chooses another one.  For example he'll say, "Hey guys lets build this house out of st st st sti sti sti st st... mn mn wood."  Well  I do that with spelling all the time!  I was typing the word acquaintance the other day and couldn't get it right and was too lazy at the time to look it up so I went with friend.  Even though I really couldn't call that person my friend.  No one has to know.  But now you all do.  I wonder if there is ever a study on my writings if one can tell that I do this by the words that I use (or don't use).   If there is ever a name attached to this type of thing I think it should be called Porky Pig Spelling.  Works for me!